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Siguy's Blog

Saturday, August 31, 2002
 
Amber I really want to hate the Amber alert system (California's network of signs that give out information about child kidnappings in the hopes a motorist will spot something) because everything about it sounds like a knee-jerk attempt at a solution to a problem that doesn't really exist, but apparently the god damned thing works. Somehow the fact that it's saving lives doesn't stop me from thinking it's stupid in the back of my mind. I guess that means I'm evil.
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Nature has too much variety Baby ant-eater "Irma" strolls in its enclosure during a first photocall at the Frankfurt Zoo, western Germany on Friday, Aug. 30, 2002. Irma, seen through a glass window, was born on Aug. 4, 2002, the first ant-eater born at the Frankfurt Zoo since 1993. (AP Photo/Bernd Kammerer/HA)
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Friday, August 30, 2002
 
Not all that interesting Unlike every other night, I didn't really run into any great story on the net like that fantastic harry potter thing I described 3 posts down. But this is atleast interesting. It's becoming more and more apparent that perhaps it was a waste of several billion dollars when we saved Greece from the communists because they seem to have ended up with just as dictatorial a government. This story is rather old (a month) but still just as freaky. Apparently Greece has banned "all LAN and Internet games and any kind of game that is supported by electrical, electronic or software means." The reasoning behind this is vague at best. It has nothing to do with videogame violence; my guess is that their parliament is just very very stupid.
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Thursday, August 29, 2002
 
Winner of the worst slogan ever award... "Yoplait: Together, we can lick breast cancer." Unfortunately the Yoplait website doesn't have this gem. It's from a yoplait commercial urging you to save your yoplait yogurt lids, which apparently somehow helps fight breast cancer. Not only is the slogan creepy, but as they say it, they show a woman in the woods licking yogurt off of a lid.
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Not a good sign... Call me crazy, but I don't think it's a good sign for the quality of NBC's new drama American Dreams that their commercials are using single-word excerpts from the following sources as evidence that critics like it:
  • Christian Science Monitor
  • Ventura County Star
  • San Jose Mercury News
  • Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
  • And finally, the Christian Science Monitor AGAIN!
I mean, my god, the only way this list could've been less impressive is if they had included a review from one of those satelite TV magazines. I'm hereby predicting this show will suck serious ass.

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Sign #22... Before I give you the link, I want you to read this. I think that when you do actually click the link, you'll look back at the review and reread it a few times before pondering suicide. Here's a review of the product in question:
Reviewer: poola13 from Ohio When my 12 year old daughter asked for this for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but she seems to LOVE it. Her friends love it too! They play for hours in her bedroom with this great toy. They really seem to like the special effects it offers (the sound effects and vibrating). My oldest daughter (17) really likes it too! I reccomend this for all children.
Sign #22 that the apocalypse is near: Click Here. Oh, and read the other reviews on that page.

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hyp ... o ... crit With Brooke "Asparagirl" S-Something leaving her lair to visit my brother, I can insult president bush without fear of losing my best referrer. Here's a little generic article about Senor Bush's massive fund-raising. Frankly, I'm confused how this can't be seen as hypocritical in several ways. I'm not saying that I don't think he should fund-raise; I'm saying that I think it's hypocritical for Bush to be raising all this money while he and the Republicans were so critical of Clinton's mammouth fund-raising. Also, this goes for California candidate for Governor Bill Simon, who's sole campaign issue is that Gray Davis spends too much time raising money, but at the same time, begs Bush to come raise money for the governor race. I've heard it said that the difference is that the people Bush invited to the white house were friends whereas Clinton just rewarded big donors with sleepovers. I think that's bull. Frankly, I don't have a problem with any one staying at the White House for donating large amounts of money, since it's not exactly doing any one any harm, but Bush's excuse doesn't hold water. Does any one really think that these people staying at the White House would be called "family friends" if they weren't big donors? No. That's their whole relationship with the family. That's why they're friends, because they donate large sums of money to causes the Bushies believe in. And couldn't Clinton claim that the donors he had staying with him were friends? Afterall, when someone donates millions to your campaigns, do you call them strangers or friends? In conclusion, it's hypocritical for the republicans to have insulted Clinton for his fund-raising, but at the same time, to claim that Bush's fund-raising is somehow just peachy. (oh, and I realize that the argument that Clinton's fund-raising involved selling the US out to China comes up in this discussion, but quite frankly I think that's absolute bullshit)
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Can't walk five feet without finding someone this stupid Here's a lovely litte article about a man who thinks google is evil. The guy in question is not the creator of the article; the article is about him. Anyway, the guy is clearly very very stupid. He's one of those people who ruins liberalism for everybody else. It used to be that the conservative side had all the conspiracy wackos who thought the government was trying to kill them with fluoridated water, but this guy is the sort of liberal trying to corner the market on stupid crackpot theories. His main point of contention is that google is undemocratic because it ranks big name sites over small sites. Think about that. When did democracy start to mean that small websites should get more attention than big websites? And if they do get more attention, doesn't that make them big websites and the big websites small sites? He acts like google has some sinister plan to crush the ideas of the common man by putting links to bigname websites first. Well here's a tip, dipshit, big websites are usually big because they offer something. If I search for "buy books online," the first sites that come up in google are amazon and barnesandnoble. This isn't because of some convoluted plot to destroy small independent book-sellers online; it's because those sites are the ones I'm most likely to find useful. I really hate people like this guy who spend every waking moment looking for conspiracies in their cereal bowl.
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Wednesday, August 28, 2002
 
Suspicions. I suspect that my brand new commenting system's downtime is temporary, but quite frankly I don't care enough to wait it out and see if enetation gets their stuff working again (afterall, I already waited a week for netcomments.co.uk to return only to see them stay down). So I'm about to install my third damned commenting system. Should be up in 10 minutes. edit: Well, my second commenting system provider is back up, but I think I'll stick with my third commenting system provider (try saying that three times fast! Seriously.) because it's quite speedy.
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Quick note The new comments system isn't perfect. Sometimes it doesn't load because the server it's on is busy. Either way, it atleast works half-of-the-time wheareas the old system worked none-of-the-time. So that's an infinity percent increase in uptime. I'm gonna consider trying a third comments system if this one remains this unreliable.
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In defense of electronics If you read my brother's blog often, you may think that all electronic devices do not work. The simple fact is that, while Scott himself is not incompetent, electronics simply don't like him. He lovingly caressed his beloved handspring PDA for weeks and weeks. He poured attention upon it and told its stories everywhere. Then when it stopped working, it was like he had been personally betrayed. Eventually he stopped crying, but I suspect that the end was due to dehydration and not any sort of true acceptance of his grief. I wait patiently to hear about the next electronic gizmo that will assault him. I'm guessing it'll be his new electric shaver because he's in love with the thing and urged me to buy one. Also, please do not be confused and think that because the devices don't work for him, they won't work for you. In fact, the closer you are to Scott, the more likely your electronic devices are to work. Maybe he emits some sort of EMP field that fucks with electronics, but the simple act of not being him, but being within his sight makes most electronics work for you. I think it's part of some elaborate computer chip conspiracy to piss him off.
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Damn, that was quick Well I installed a new comment system immediately after I said I would in that last post. That's pretty unusual for me. I'm a procrastinator. Anyway, let's see how this one works out. I need to monkey with it a smidge to make sure it looks laright and whatnot. Please use it. I get ever so lonely.
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My foot hurts, so ban the sale of elastic band socks Well here's a doozy of a stupid idea. I live on soda ... well, actually, I drink icees at school instead of soda, but the rest of the time I drink soda. During my internship with a state assemblymen I went over a bill that was supposed to add a cigarette-style tax to sodas and to make it illegal to sell them in public schools, but my boss (not the assemblymen) had written on the page about the bill "Just another crazy attempt to screw over business. Not a good idea" The law never made it out of committee It was very stupid. The law I was talking about: the justification was that a study showed that kids who drink sodas are more likely to be obese. But that's BS. All that means is that kids who are obese drink a lot of fucking soda, which is not exactly news. It doesn't mean soda-use promotes obesity. It was using reverse logic. Just because all squares are rectangles doesn't mean all rectangles are squares. Now apparently some elected LA School Officials have banned soda at public schools (starting in 2004, though even that's sketchy since there's some sort of compromise part of the bill that could stall it). This doesn't affect me as I attend a private institution (which also means I can have the most graphic in-school sex education money can buy, including an assembly that urged us to masturbate instead of have underage sex). It's actually pretty serious. One of the dilweeds quoted in the article said that it would be appalling to think about economics over our children's health. And I agree with that, except she's dead wrong. This has nothing to do with children's health; sure, the reason they're doing this is for childrens' health, but this measure will not help any children anywhere at anytime. So basically these school officials have just torn out much-needed funding from the school system (where do you think all those dollars that go into school vending machines end up?) in order to grab some attention and pretend they're fixing something. Our only hope now is to put out the Pepsi signal and hope pepsi man shows up to save Los Angeles' Children: Oh, and I'm gonna switch to a new commenting system, but it's probably gonna be tough to get a new one. They all have lots of restrictions.
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Tuesday, August 27, 2002
 
Interesting Well the very very great humor site SatireWire.com is closing down. I'll miss the site, but what's neat about this all is that the site didn't go out of business. It was actually successful. The writer/creator/everything guy over there just decided he wanted to work on other things. It's sort of nice to have a web business that closes down for reasons other than "ran out of money" or "incredibly obvious incompetence."
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Monday, August 26, 2002
 
Okay, remember when... Okay, remember when I commented that most British papers seemed to skew toward the tabloid side of things when it comes to celebrities? Well here's a good example. Gwyneth Paltrow makes one comment about finding British men a bit shy to ask her out and suddenly she's worthy of assault. If someone say's they don't like Apple Pie in America, we don't string them up in the press, hell, I hate Apple Pie, though I've never had it (you see, I'm quite good at knowing what to hate without any actual experience to back it up).
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Sunday, August 25, 2002
 
I dun likk dah sound of dat.. Article. I guess I used to be more pro-kill-Saddam-Hussein-with-a-big-ass-missile, but no one in the US government seems to have a concrete plan they're willing to share. I dunno, maybe the Bush administration has some great plan and reasoning, but this administration is so fucking secretive that I wouldn't be surprised if we were already at war with Iraq and Ari Fleischer just forgot to mention it in his press conferences. I mean, this presidency leaks absolutely nothing, so all you ever get out of them is prewritten gibberish that doesn't lean in any direction. If you ask me, the president making some primetime 5-minute broadcast a few hours after he starts an attack on a country is not an attempt to build consensus or to explain his case. I'm all for strategic surprise, but atleast a few concrete why's about ousting Saddam would make me feel better. The guy's an evil shmuck, but I'd like to atleast hear why it's necessary to go after him right this minute before we start loading up the APCs.
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What the... I have no idea what the hell happened to my comments system. I tried to visit the site that was hosting them, but it just redirects me to some webhosting company. Maybe I'll have to switch to a different system.
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Who says democrats are the only ones who waste money? Senor GWB has launched a big anti-obesity campaign. I know he's the health president or something because he runs a billion miles a day or some number like that, but this campaign is just really really really stupid. I'm not claiming he alone is responsible, since it was clearly developed by some agency, but it's just really terrible. The Slate article I linked to really covers what's wrong with it quite well, but I might as well expound. It's the worse type of advertising. It's directed at the youth of America, which is always bad because advertisers have no fucking clue what the youth of America thinks. Hell, I'm technically one of the youth of America and I don't know what the youth of America thinks. The slogan is just atrocious: "Verb: It's what you do." I've reread the slogan about 6 times and I still don't quite get it. I think they are trying to say that kids should be active and exercise to prevent obesity, and doing something is usually expressed with verbs. That's pretty flimsy, and while I don't claim to understand "my generation," I sure as hell know that we don't think verbs are particularly cool. Even if kids do breakout their secret decoder rings and manage to find the concept behind that confusing slogan, I don't see it really doing any good. I mean, if a kid's obese or becoming obese, is telling them that running around outside is fun really going to make them burst up from their chairs and start jogging every morning? Oh well, I guess America didn't really need that 190 million dollars. We probably would've just wasted anyway on something stupid like fighting terrorism.
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McAfrika and the British Press Well I probably killed my fragile readership base by talking about things that don't interest you all for a while, but here you go, something of a serious nature: McAfrika. I'm gonna have to somewhat side with the giant megacorporation on this one. I do agree that it is somewhat insensitive to release a burger called the McAfrika when so many people in Africa are starving, but I think that calling it disgusting and protesting it is hyperbole. It's a cheap attempt to grab attention; granted, it's an issue that deserves all the attention it can get, but this is a pretty pathetic way to get it. I mean, if I release a burger called the McStan, and there's a lot of guys named stan who are starving, is that somehow my fault? Sure, the burger is stupid and a cheap attempt at profit, but it's not like they were making fun of African culture. Hell, even if it was in a dilluted and silly form, they were actually advancing African culture's influence in one of the whitest places on earth. I have to say, I don't like that The Guardian filed this under their famine section. I mean, that's pretty presumptive. Maybe this was an opinion piece, but it just felt like a biased normal news piece to me. I'm not insulting Britain or any European nations, but it seems to me that a lot of the time their newspapers don't even attempt to be unbiased. It's like the concept of trying to present only facts is foreign to them. I don't pretend that the American press is perfect, but it does try to be unbiased. And despite our status here in the states as celebrity-mongers, I find regular British papers seem to print stuff most people here would be embarrassed to read off the tabloid rack at the supermarket (ie, celebrity gossip and pictures stuff).
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Saturday, August 24, 2002
 
I guess I can't blame China's evil communist government for this, but... Ewww. Very disturbing.
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You Nintendo freaks can go directly to hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200 http://cgi.gamefaqs.com/poll/index.asp The one day I forget to vote in the fucking gamefaq's Best VideoGame Character of all Time poll because I'm away on a trip to San Francisco, and that's the day they put up the Sonic vs. Samus Aran. And what happens? Everyone's favorite blue speedy hedgehog loses out to a fucking spinning metal ball by 40 votes. Damn you crazy nintendo-nites! You're almost as bad as the ruthlessly loyal Final Fantasy VII fans.
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A note... A note about some of the images I posted not loading. My new webhost that I'm switching over to is gonna be down for a few hours and then again from Sept. 1st to 5th. I'm not complaining because they're a free host offering me stuff that's better than some paid-for web hosting.
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Friday, August 23, 2002
 
The Scifi Channel Here, a pointless rant, as promised: I'm really annoyed with the Scifi channel's scheduling system. Basically, they run 11 new episodes of their good shows during the summer, then they put them all on hiatus until January. Then they run a month or so of 4 new episodes. Then they go on hiatus for a month again. Run 4 more episodes. Go on hiatus for a month. And run 3 more episodes. And then wait until Summer for new episodes. The only advantage to this system is, errr, was, that new season premieres aren't long after season finales. This system has always pissed me off because it means that instead of one or two cliffhangers during the year, you get like 4 cliffhangers and all of them make you wait months for the conclusion episode. Now, Scifi has gone one step too far. They just finished running the first 11 episodes of the new seasons of Farscape and Stargate SG-1, but in a pathetically obvious attempt to boost ratings, they're claiming this 11th episode is the season finale. That just really burns me up. I know, it may seem like it makes no difference, but imagine if your favorite show just suddenly started being chopped up into weird mini-seasons that the creator of the show never intended. Think about a show like Babylon 5, which had a billion different story arcs and things running at once; What if Mr. Network executive said, "No, I don't care about this 5-year-novel concept where each season is a new chapter, just start chopping up all the seasons willy-nilly to improve the ratings." It degrades the medium as a whole; would you ever tell an author or a movie writer that his/her work was going to be sliced into separate sections so there could be longer cliffhangers? So why should it be different with a tv scifi show. It's just stupid.
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Squirrel Post! That's right, this post is all about squirrels. These links may be old to a seasoned netizen, but I think they're funny. I do plan to get back to writing pointless rants sometime in the future, but for now I might as well just post stupid links: Squirrel Fishing: Click Here. Very very funny ninja squirrel story: Click Here.
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It's like a big bowl of pop-culture What I love about this next thing is that it manages to combine computer geekiness, a discussion of old space legos vs. new space legos, references to Dr. Strangelove, and R2-D2. It's super corny, but the Dr. Strangelove reference near the end really made me smile.
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I am Unicron, destroyer of worlds! "If everyone lived like you, we would need 3.6 planets." Oh well, I always knew I was killing the planet, but thanks to this webpage, I now can put a number on how quickly I'm killing it. A lot of the questions involve meters and "litres" and what-not, so if you're like me and don't understand that gobbedly-gook, use this conversions website.
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Professionally produced lunacy Here's this online cartoon flic for your viewing pleasure (just click on "movie" once the flash loads). The animation kind of reminds me of the old Sonic cartoon show, but with more teddy bears fighting pandas and powerful lightning blast weapons everywhere.
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I r0ck at teh interweb! First it was that stupid helicopter game, at which I absolutely obliterated my competition. Now, Carl's Friggin Strip Poker is my latest victim. Scott said he spent hours playing this game, feebly trying to get a peek at Carl naked, but I managed to do in one half-hour what he failed to do in days of feverish weeping agony. Once again I prove my superiority: Carl in the Raw: I also had a lovely little "You Win" graphic, but my screenshot capture program seems to have exploded or something and it failed to snap the pic.
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Incredibly sick This story requires no smart-aleck remarks; it's just purely disgusting. I've heard of shit like this in Africa, but here in the US!?!?
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Thursday, August 22, 2002
 
Dear CNN, please find a new damned story... Listen, CNN, I'm very happy for you; it's really great and all that you've found that special Al Qaeda footage tape. You've really shown that you're a true international news source, unlike some other people I know (*cough* Fox News *cough*). ... but SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT IT! For god's sake, you buy some collection of propoganda from some schmoe in Afghanistan that tells us things we already knew and you have to keep it as the front page story of your website for a full damned week! Let's be serious here; is it important that the videos depict Al Qaeda working with other terrorist groups? Sure. Is it something that's absolutely groundbreaking and exciting and something you should be focusing every ounce of attention on for a full week? No. If these tapes had been bought by MSNBC instead of CNN, CNN wouldn't have given jack-shit about the story and wouldn't have mentioned it at all. Thus, it's not much of a story.
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How do you tell someone they're Cameron Diaz? I'm sure Rachel Roberts is a good person, but I'm afraid she's simply confused. You see, she is Cameron Diaz, and just doesn't realize it. Sure, some may claim she's some 20-something Canadian model, but if you look at the pictures of her, it's quite clear it's Cameron Diaz, or perhaps a time-traveling 20-something Cameron Diaz. Observe: This is a clip of Ms. Richards from her new film (though, I must admit the images were edited by the movie people to make her look more movie-starrish):
Now please look at this computer generated image of Cameron Diaz asking you to help reduce America's dependence on foreign oil:
Clearly the same person.

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Mildly interesting As anyone who looks at this site can tell, I like monkeying around with the colors and fonts at any given opportunity. I never realized, however, until I read this article how much work and effort goes into the creation of every font. I mean, fonts have always seemed like the thing you have too much of in Windows. There are just piles and piles of fonts, many of which seem derivative and uninteresting, yet all of them took a great deal of effort. I still don't quite get what the article was talking about with font "hinting," but it said it was important so who am I to argue.
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The Legend Of Zelda 4: Buying women I decided to post a little news update before I went to sleep here in San Francisco. Here's a nasty little article I just came across. Involves one of what must be thousands of idiotic tribes in Asia/Africa/Middle-East that is clinging to sexist, violent traditions. Apparently for 551 rupees (isn't that the money from Legend of Zelda?) this teenage girl in India was auctioned and then committeed suicide (I wonder if her "buyer" had a receipt or warranty). This seems to be such a frequent occurence that it was only of note because the translated value of 551 rupees is $11 (which isn't that surprising since it's a currency better known as a videogame item than as an actual form of money). This just plays into my already well-supported theory that the rest of the world is crazy and really stupid. Oh, and in unrelated and far less disgusting news, we missed out on the chance to buy my sister a large 40 dollar replica of koko the talking gorilla (complete with a replica of koko's kitten).
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Monday, August 19, 2002
 
Here's hopin' According to a BBC Article, Hollywood may finally give up on this dvd region bullshit. Though I do not import dvds or anything like that, I thought that this encoding nonsense was stupid from day one. I hope that instead of trying to replace the system with something nastier, hollywood just gives up on it. I mean, I can see maybe 1 or 2 instances where it might be useful to them to stop a dvd from one country from being played in another, but on the whole it just needlessly pisses off customers and limits their choices for very little gain on the part of the industry.
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Who else remembers Hypercard? I mean, I guess remembers is the wrong term since Apple still sells it. Anyway, I just read this elaborate article somewhere (edit: see bottom of post) about it and how there are all these people who really love the language. It was all about how Hypercard is incredibly powerful and was way ahead of its time and how it could do all this incredible shit really easily, like run gigantic databases of contacts. The thing is, all I ever used it for was to make stick figure animations. I mean, they weren't shitty stick figure animations (I believe it was a man name fred who was perpetually killed). My brother and I made kickass stick figure animations, but the realization that the program I was using had such higher aspirations than that is a little weird. I'm fully windows-centric now, but I feel like reading up on what hypercard is capable of for nostalgia's sake. Late Edit: Thanks to Dave of http://www.davetepper.net for giving me this link to the article I mentioned: The Article.
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Unlike Scott... Unlike Scott I don't want this blog to have giant absences every week, but I'm going on a trip for a few days, so after tonight's updates, I probably won't post until friday.
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Sunday, August 18, 2002
 
Am I fucking crazy? I mean, really and truly bonkers? I spend about 25% of my time when I'm at home listening to the song Windy by The Associates ("Everyone Knows it's Windy") but I replace every instance of "Everyone Knows it's Windy" with "Everyone Knows it's kitty" and I sing it to my cat. I changed other lyrics also. Like instead of "And Windy has stormy eyes, that flash at the sound of lies" I sing "And kitty has tabby hair, and he's over there!" Keep in mind that I cannot sing well at all. Oh, and I also made this picture of my cat as a rapper: It's not like I NEED to sing this song to him, but it makes me laugh. There's something about my cat sleeping completely motionless next to me and me delving out intense amounts of attention and love to him that just makes me laugh.
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PGA Boy, what an exciting day of golf. I feel sorry for those of you who have dismissed watching golf as boring because today was really great. Ups and downs, with a great finish by Tiger. It's the perfect sport to watch if you like watching golf.
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Proof that movie-goers aren't wrong 100% of the time Just browsed to CNN and saw that Pluto Nash, Eddie Murphy's new crapfest, is one of the biggest flops of the year. It cost 100 million to make, and I'm sure all that advertising must of added millions to the cost, and it debuted at 2.2 million. I like it when really bad films do really badly because it reminds me that not every one out there is swayed by idiotic commercials.
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What's worse than an Amercan ultra liberal? A Canadian Ultra liberal. Wow. This guy takes stupidity to an art form. It's like you took an already vocal idiot, locked him in a closet with a bunch of conspiracy magazines, then beat the shit out him with a glove that has the American flag on it. Here's the "Open Letter" in question. When you start reading it, you'll be tempted to think that this is just another one of those "The Government wants to steal your rights!" rants that we see so often, but this one really takes the cake. I swear, this guy must've gone through a checklist of crazy liberal crackpot theories to make sure each was included (by the way, I'm a democrat, but this guy is so stupid he's making me sound like Rush Limbaugh). Let's start a little list here of things he said that were at the very least questionable and at the very most horribly disgusting and stupid:
  • Overused the concept of "dark" "secret" "evil" "murderous" "shadow" government
  • Stretches the claim of evil corporations hiding technology way past its breaking point
  • Calls Israelis murderers
  • Negates the concept of free-will and calls suicide bombers victims
  • Apparently believes that America is in charge of every bad business deal in the world
  • Ralph Nader is the fucking Messiah (though this guy's probably an aethiest so I'm sure he'd use different terms)
  • America is made up of a bunch of genetically altered "fat asses"
  • The Government planned 9/11
  • The Government killed Kennedy
  • The US is sort of like superman, except that instead of fighting a never-ending battle for "Truth, Justice, and the American Way," we fight a never-ending war for militarism, totalitarianism, and cheese-burgers.
  • We kill arabs, apparently millions of them. Maybe billions, who knows.
  • Oh, and he doesn't use a comma with appositives which really burns me up more than the other stuff!
There's quite a bit there, but I'll pick a few choice things to attack. Now, let me preface this by saying that in no way do I intend to harp on the Israel-Arab conflict and became known as "Trustfund Ganz" Jr. (see Scott's blog, once he fixes the link to his archive). Here's a delightful gem from this dolt: "Or perhaps it will be some Arab terrorist who finally commits the terrible deed, his last thought before death being the promises you made to him before you killed his family." What's great about this quotation is the way he blends different ideas together. He takes the cliche concept of the poor Arab pushed to the edge by bombings and then adds onto it some vague concept of the US screwing over every country in the world with false promises (what in particular he's referring to is anyone's guess). I don't know, maybe US servicemen wrote promises like "We won't blow you up" on their bombs before they dropped them on his Afghan village because I really don't remember promising anything in particular to these people other than "We'll kill you if you help Al Qeada." Here's my big beef with all terrorist-apologists; they basically assume that no one anywhere is accountable for their actions (except of course for the US government). It's quite true that there are many palestinians suffering undeserved plights in the Middle East, but even in the most extreme circumstances, can blowing up school kids at a marketplace be considered a justifiable action? I've also heard it said, "Well, I'm not justifying their actions, I'm just saying we should think about it from their point of view." HELLO! By trying to provide logical excuses for their insane murders you are justifying their actions. I'll never ever claim Israel is great and never wrong or anything like that, but I just don't buy that the only possible option these people had left was to try to blow themselves up and kill as many innocent people as they can in the process. True, there are abominable Arab suicide bombers in Israel's midst. But are they not driven to madness and desperation by your infernal support of international terrorist politics? No. They are not. Period. I'm also quite sick of this Ariel Sharon as the new hitler stuff. Yeah, he's hardline and not someone I like, but quite frankly, I'm offended by the notion that he's on the scale of Hitler and Stalin, who together killed about 27 million people. The Palestinians have learned how to gain European sympathy, and it's with trumped up charges of brutality and faked videos. How can people forget the footage of palestinians carrying hundreds of "corpses" out of Jenin, only to see one fall onto the ground and get up. My next beef is with the claim that genetically-altered foods are out to get us. Now I'm as leery of corporate America as the next guy, but based on the sort of stuff this guy and other "franken-food" people are peddling, there's some giant shadowy boardroom out there, where a bunch of billionaire food industry executives stroke white pets and adjust their monocoles while plotting how best to destroy the environment and kill every one on the planet using brussel sprouts. I mean, conspiracies don't just appear because someone feels like it, there has to be some sort of realistic goal involved (and 9/10 that goal isn't world domination or mass murder, no matter what your fucking comic books are telling you). I don't think I need to really cover his ramblings about US sponsored terror attacks. I love the concept that the government is already super corrupt and totally out of the hands of the people, yet it needs to kill 3,000 people in a giant and incredibly elaborate phony terror attack in order to gain new security powers. Now I'm not in love with or even in approval of half the patriot-act stuff, but this "the powerful evil force out to enslave all of mankind and destroy freedom wherever it may roam" stuff should be better left to Tom Payne and not the year 2002. Newsflash, fuckface, there's no government official in the US plotting to end democracy and destroy human rights. Someone may make a decision that you think is dangerous and gives too much power to the government, but don't treat your audience like fucking morons and claim that that was his goal all along. This is the US, not 17th century France. And finally, this guy, as with nearly every ultra-liberal, has NO FUCKING SOLUTIONS. It's fine to rant and complain; I do it all the time. But sometimes, you have to either put up or shut up. Does he have an answer to anything? No he doesn't. He just hates America, and more importantly, he hates Americans (or perhaps I should use our new title, "fat asses"). Does he reccomend some change to the constitution to improve things? No. Does he reccomend some actual changes to implement? No. He does say millions should march on Washington, but of course he has nothing for us to do once we get there. Just like the stupid 20-something frappucinno-swigging hippie-wannabes who run around smashing up store windows outside of WTO meetings, he has no idea what he wants. All he knows is that he's angry and he's got a way to cover up that anger with some phony grand cause.

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Saturday, August 17, 2002
 
Illegal, yes, useful, extremely Well, as I wrote before, Adelphia, also known as Hell's Portal unto this earth, made me miss farscape the other night. But thanks to the magic of illegal file-trading I just watched the episode I missed. Now what I did was clearly illegal, but seeing as how the commercials were intact in the video I watched and seeing how I would've actually skipped through the commercials using my tivo had I caught the real broadcast, I'm confused as to who was harmed. That's not to say I approve of illegal files. I know that plenty of people steal good movies instead of just paying 12 bucks to buy the damned things. I'm just saying that this is one of those situations that makes you wonder if there is any fair way to legislate this stuff. I mean, seriously, was any one at all harmed by what I did? It's not like they lost viewers because of it because I tried to watch the episode last night but couldn't due to my cable company. Same goes for advertisers. I suppose the real loss comes in the long term when people just download these high-quality (and I mean HIGH Quality, it was a joy to watch this show on my computer) digital copies instead of buying the dvds of the series when they're released. Though I don't fall into that category seeing as I already deleted the episode. It's something to ponder.
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Simply delightful... According to Trek Today, the very, well, the very something, William Shatner will be leading a star trek team in a paintball match. Not really news, but his leadership of the "red shirt brigade" would probably be delightful to watch. Sadly, EPSN2 will be busy broadcasting camel wrestling or something and won't be at the event. Just the idea of him running around the woods with his distended belly pressed against some silly red camouflage makes me chuckle.
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BURN ADELPHIA! BURN! I hope Adelphia ("America's Sixth Largest Cable Company!") dies a quick but still painful death. I am so sick of dealing with these bastards, who provide what must be the worst cable service anywhere (and I include in that declaration countries where cable does not exist because atleast that's consistent service). I hate hate hate hate hate hate them. Last night is my big tivo recording night, where I have something like 6 programs recording in the same 4 hour block. But bad ole adelphia decided to screw with my cable and made me miss one of the shows. Normally I'd have been able to catch this mistake when it happened and record the 2 am showing, but my cousin decided that he needed perhaps just 12 more hours of xbox play. Most people would take it as a hint that you want them to leave when you fall asleep on the other side of the room, but not good ole Carl.
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Friday, August 16, 2002
 
Schizophrenic Reviews CNN should really just pick one reviewer and stick with him/her. As is, they have a few people, and none of them agree on anything. Some of them, love absolutely everything, and others, like Paul Clinton, who hates absolutely everything. I'm disturbed to find good reviews of Blue Crush, since it's a movie whose commercials consist of the oh so overused melodramatic announcer ("She was a woman in a man's world, but she fought to survive!"). Who knows, maybe the film is actually okay, but when I hear phrases like "a tough but vulnerable apple-cheeked blond jock" in the review, I know that my 10 dollars is going elsewhere.
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Based Balls? It appears Major League baseball is heading towards another strike. While dear father and brother enjoy baseball quite a bit, I've always been rather distant to it. I don't hate it or anything, but I find it rather tiring. And all this leauge nonsense isn't helping. How am I expected to start enjoying the game when people who used to love it are getting sick of it. These players and managers are pretty pathetic. It's one of those nice situations where you have to rely on the crazy billionaire team owners and the radical union-centric players to figure something out. They seem so diametrically opposed that it'd basically be like putting a libertarian and a fascist in a room together and asking them to form a government.
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Thursday, August 15, 2002
 
Note to self... News Article Note to self, be on look out for cameras next time I try to fuck a horse.
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Golf I don't know why, but I watched 3 hours of golf coverage today on TNT, and I actually enjoyed it. Part of it is that I've been playing some golf video games recently, but that doesn't explain watching 3 hours of coverage. I certainly don't play golf in real life. The only times I've been on golf courses involved a great deal of swearing. I mean, I thought Golf was fun to watch. Better than baseball. Since all the players are staggered, it isn't actually boring. There's always some pro player they can cut to as he's about to make a shot or some clip of a shot that they didn't show live. So, in conclusion, I enjoyed watching golf, and I'm quite surprised by that.
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DVD Commercialism Grr, I had this article all typed up and the hit the wrong button. Now I have to redo it: The Slate.com has a new article up (scroll past the cat people story) involving dvd commercial tie ins. The article struck a chord with me (a C# I think). Anyway, apparently the Slate was annoyed that the LoTR 2-disc dvd's extras consisted mostly of shoddy previews of the film that were slapped together by tv stations and some trailers and advertisements. I can't really confirm any of that since everyone's favorite 6'3" Hobbit, Scott Ganz, is waiting to purchase the extra-special super duper FOUR disc edition (with that many discs, I'm sure one of them must just be filled with left-over footage from corn flakes commercials). In general, I think almost all DVD extras fall short. I absolutely love the widescreen high-quality image of DVDs, and I'm addicted to commentaries. Having deleted scenes is also great fun, and so are interviews with the cast and crew. But sadly, most dvd's fall into two categories: No-features what-so-ever or 500$ special director's edition 13-disc unrated dvd master sets. I hate it when a dvd has nothing but the film on it because the format has so much more potential than that, but at the same time, I can't stand paying extra for pathetic extras no one cares about. I mean, for 90% of all films, do you really give a flying wazoo what the trailer looks like? Or do you care about some 3-question trivia "game" that you'll never look at more than once? It's just a silly way to jack up the price. Every year the movie companies re-re-re-re-rerelease their films on dvd in bigger and bigger box sets that cost more and more. Personally, I like using dvd review sites like http://dvd.ign.com so I can hear every detail of a new release so I know whether to go for the no-frills version or the more expensive one.
    My must-have DVD Features:
  • Widescreen
  • Commentaries
  • Interesting Documentraries and Interviews
    Features I couldn't give a flying wazoo about:
  • Film Trailers*some exceptions
  • Stupid TV Documentraries
  • Ads for other products
  • Trivia Games
  • Elaborate DVD Cases
  • Special PC Features
  • Sets of nearly identical interviews when just one could've done

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People viewing the page? Jeesh, bad old Scott finally linked my page. And he even got Brooke S-something to do that too. Oh well. I'd like it if you folks continued to visit, seeing as unlike my brother I actually update the page. And with visitors comes responsibility. I already feel bad for some comments like "hate-filled british prig." It's easier to insult people when no one's looking. Oh, and on a sidenote, I hope to add some links and navigation silliness to the page soon.
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Wednesday, August 14, 2002
 
Three rants in one (The British/Europe, Self-hating americans, and TheRegister) Well, seeing as slashdot's readership has nearly surpassed the population of the earth, chances are the article I'm going to point out isn't news to you: Hate-filled British Prig Rants about the Net. The Article is an absolute mess. It comes from a highly-trained lawyer but it feels like the sort of off-the-cuff "FUCK YOU, YOU AMERICAN FAGS!!11!" type of thing you'd find on most web forums, just with a lot more spell checking. I don't have any gigantic issue with the problems he's talking about, but the simple fact is that he doesn't make any sense. First of all, for someone who is trying to make an intellectual argument, he basically ruins any of his credibility with gems like "[The U.S.] decides to run their part of the Net according to the principles laid down two hundred and fifty years ago by a bunch of renegade merchants and rebellious slave owners." It's generally a bad sign if the person you're arguing with is still clinging to arguments about the sanctity of the extended British Empire. I mean, what's lovely is that this guy can both make statements like that, taking the side of the British Empire in the Revolutionary War, and then turn around and complain about US Web Imperialism. Please notice the highlight; it's just preposterous to think of the US running DNS servers as somehow worse than Britain running around and dominating every piece of dirt big enough for a flag to stick in it. He uses the word "hegemony" quite a few times in referring to the US's role on the net. Well, yes, the US is the predominant force on the net. You see, the US actually makes web content: Great deals of web content. It also contains many many web servers and internet companies. He acts like US storm troopers run around blowing up other countries' web services. The only thing holding Europe back from an increased web presence is Europe. He also talks about US culture and values like they're the fucking plague. It's not our fault if your citizens like McDonalds. It's not our fault if we have more successful companies. And it's not our fault if Europeans have to use US businesses to get anything done on the net. That's something Europe should work on, not bitch to the US about. He's a mess of contradictions held down by his sheer hatred of the US. He talks about how the US is way too permissive (his basic gist is that freedom of speech is some sort of affront to humanity ). He cites a Yahoo french court case that I'm stunned he brought up. Basically, a french court told yahoo, that not only did it have to remove any nazi artifact information from its french pages (rather reasonable in my mind since the servers were probably in France), it had to somehow magically devise a way to prevent any french person what-so-ever from viewing the content. The fact that this was impossible (short of posting a picture of a german panzer on the main page to scare the french from entering) didn't really matter to the court, and many europeans got into a big stink about the fact that yahoo would dare to not censor every page over a french court filing.
This guy burns the candle at both ends; He yells and rants about the US being too open what with allowing people to use freedom of speech, but at the same time he takes every moment he can to take pot shots and accuse the US of being a totalitarian regime with no human rights. He even goes so far to claim that if he visited the US, he could be tried and executed with no due process. Maybe if this guy took a moment to stop chugging tea and campaigning for less-restrictive cannabis laws, he'd see there's an inherent contradiction in accusing the US of being too permissive while also calling it a dictatorship that abuses its own citizens. Also, what this guy wants isn't a net free from US domination; he wants a net dominated by Europe. Once again, he has conflicting arguments. At one point he's talking about how disgusting it is that if Britain wants to prosecute someone on the web for violating a British law, US courts won't play ball if the server is hosted in the US and it violates no US law; then his next concept is that the US shouldn't be allowed to prosecute people in foreign countries. He's basically saying "Only Europe should be allowed to violate other nation's boundries!" I mean, what if Iraq decided that 90% of the internet was illegal. Should we really be extraditing all those millions of web developers over to Iraq? Some may claim that's not what he means, but I'd argue that he doesn't even know what he means. Quite frankly, this man is just plain nasty. I realize I've insulted him quite a bit, but here are some choice words from his so-called proposal:
"the freedom they value so much is also the freedom to act irresponsibly" - Does he really want to argue about whether human freedoms are worthwhile? Terms for Americans: "gun-toting nut" "Just like the survivalists heading out to Oregon with their assault weapons and dried food" Since one of the letters the Register posted was actually quite smart, I'll post a piece of it: "Perhaps most annoying is a general feeling throughout the article that the big, bad United States is out to remake the (inherently superior, evidently) European world in its image. It's yet another argument in the venerable "America as cultural imperialist" vein. I wasn't buying this argument back in the pre-internet days, and I'm not falling for it now. European culture is so unappealing to its citizens, that merely making an alternative available will cause hordes of people to drop their values and traditions? Even if that were true, is that the fault of the US, or does it signal a problem with EuroCulture? (And anyway, the social influence thing works both ways. I am, after all, reading an article on a British web site.)" What finally inspired me to write about this guy was the follow-up article posted by the Register. Of course, they claim mostly positive responses, which does make some sense since they're a European website and bashing America is a rather large past time over there. What pisses me off are the letters originating from Americans that the register chose to post. Pretty much every letter is from what I like to deem an "Ultra Liberal," also known as the self-hating American. These are the guys who preface every statement with "Though I am an American, I absolutely hate my government, and were I not an insanely vocal aethiest, I'd wish to god every day that I was born as a Briton, or atleast one of those weird dark-skinned people I see on National Geographic." These are the sort of folks who try to blame the extinction of the dinosaurs on American culture. So of course, most of these folks tend to agree with the author and talk about how he's right and how they feel the US shouldn't be in a leadership role and all sorts of silliness like that. Here's one of the self-hating Americans at work: " i wholly agree with your sentiments. i am not the brainwashed, mtv fed, pro-america pile of excrement that this nation so rapidly creates. i despise the fact that i live in such an area, which has little to no cultural diversity, and is suspicious of a person based on the colour of their skin alone. it makes me sick to know that corporations are vying for control of everything, and people are willing allowing it, without understanding the consequences. but, the US breeds ignorant humans, whom follow the idea of 'ignorance is bliss' to the verbatim." I'm glad to see that not only is he unwilling to defend his homeland from foreign invaders, he's also unwilling to use the shift key. This is one of my favorite's because it's somewhat like asking another country to please come conquer you: "As a United States citizen I felt I must say something in response to your article. You are absolutely right. America was a beautiful idea, as is the Internet. But our own greed and shortsightedness tends to make us Americans forget ... Until then, the rest of the world, well, Europe at least, should save the Internet from us, before its too late." Here's another dandy that sounds like something Marx would write (and I don't mean Groucho): "The problem is that our experiment with Democracy (we'll leave it as an exercise for the reader if this country's a democracy or a republic) has failed. But please, don't make the judgement that the American people are bad. Misguided, certainly. That comes from religion, but that's another topic entirely." It's not that I expected the Register to be non-biased, I mean, everything they do is an opinion piece. If it were up to me, their slogan wouldn't be "Biting the Hand that feeds IT" because the actual content of their site is about 80% ranting articles against Microsoft and 20% articles complaining about how the latest Labor party candidate is trying to destroy web freedoms. What I can't stand is the way they portray this whole thing. I just wish they'd stop pretending to be a news site. Finally, and this is the part that makes me feel stupid for even discussing the article, what he suggests is physically impossible. Unless he knows some IT workers who double as magical gnomes, I really can't see any aspect of his proposal being implemented at all.

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Tuesday, August 13, 2002
 
I don't like Mozilla I'm sorry, I just don't like it. That's not to say it's a bad browser, but if you're on a mac or windows machine, IE6 is just better. I too once used Netscape. It satisfied me plenty. I never touched IE (which made sense since my crappy Win95 computer only came with IE3). So there I sat for a year or so, thinking Netscape was vastly superior to IE all because I'd only seen IE3 and had only talked to fellow netscape nuts. But then one day, while installing some software, I was forced to install IE5 for it to work. Now if I'm anything, it's curious about computer shit that I have no chance of understanding (my collection of 200 unfinished programs and web projects is testament to that). So I loaded up this supposed demon hellspawn of the great and evil "M$" and I was pleasantly surprised. Unlike the interface of Netscape 4.5, which can best be described as green ass, everything was clean and nice. Not only that, but pages loaded faster; the program itself loaded much much faster; pages actually looked right, and by right I mean how the author intended them to look, not how a bunch of programmers at the w3 have decided things should render. From then on I not only used only IE, but I upgraded immediately to every new version. Now, let's leave ancient times, or roughly 2 years ago, and enter the present. I'll admit that like many computer junkies, the concept of open-source software is delightful. Smart web-savvy people making things for smart web-savvy people out of the goodness of their hearts. Oh how I wanted Mozilla to be the great and wonderful browser of lore that Netscape/AOL/Time-Warner Communications had been promising for years. I wanted to be able to thumb my nose and be part of the support for some grand web project, but the simple fact is clear: Mozilla is only for people who passionately hate MS or who don't use Apple or Windows. First, the positives of Mozilla:
  • Speedy rendering engine
  • Skinnable UI
  • TABBED BROWSING!!! This is easily the best feature of Mozilla, and I hope the programmers over at Redmond are stealing this as I write this. Being able to open up new browser pages as tabs in one window is great
  • Very Standards Compliant
  • Good set of side-software like Messenger
  • Not aiding monopolies
Now the Negatives:
  • Ugly. It's just ugly. I don't care what you say about how there are hundreds of themes and skins and whatnot, but this sucker is ugly. It's like having a car with a really sexy paintjob but then gigantic barf-colored seam marks connecting everything.
  • Interface. Yes, the interface can be nice, but I just find it clunky and silly. Skins and themes are great, but IE just does a better job without any of that.
  • Glacial Startup time if you don't make it load with windows
  • Made by AOL. I find this to be worse than if it were made by Microsoft.
  • Very Standards Compliant, but with no fucking backwards compatibility. Since most of the programmers aren't paid, they can't afford to make things standards compliant and backwards compatible. So as a webmaster, I can do one of two things: Conform my page to the absolute letter of the standard and have it render correctly in less than 1% of all browsers (aka Mozilla), or write the code a tiny tiny bit off so that it renders in 96% of all browsers (aka IE5 and up).
  • The Options, errr, "Preferences" system. What's the point of making a new skinnable interface if you cling to mistakes made my Netscape 4 fucking years ago! I hate hate hate hate the preferences menus used by Netscape. The groupings under the menu, while good in theory, make little to no sense, and the menu itself is ball-breakingly ugly. Hell, the whole placement of Preferences under "Edit" bugs me.
  • Finally, it just doesn't feel professional. If someone came up to me and showed me IE6 for the first time and said it was made entirely by an open-source community for free, I'd be amazed and think it wasn't possible. If you did the same thing to me with Mozilla 1.0, I'd have already figured that out. Everything about it feels unrefined.
So, in conclusion, Mozilla is not ready for primetime, and though the rendering engine seems pretty good, I suspect that Microsoft shouldn't be quaking in their boots so long as IE continues even with the smallest of improvements.

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What the fuck was that!?!? So I'm at my computer, and suddenly I hear this growing sound. Pretty soon it gets really loud. There's rattling and it sounds like something is moving really fast and bumping all over the place. There's a really steep hill pretty near where I live, and at first it sounded like someone was riding a fucking sled down that road. But I said to myself, "No, that'd be fucking crazy. No one could be that stupid. To ride a sled down that incredibly steep hill right into neighborhood traffic." So then I hear someone go, "Ahhhhh!! Crap!!!" and I heard something big and metal go tumbling and then scrape and skid into something in a big crash. Then silence. ... ... ... ... ... Later I spoke to some folk (aka my internet cronies) and it was suggested that I should investigate and bring a camera to photograph any mangled corpses. Unfortunately, visibility on my street at night is about zero, which brings further into question whether the life of someone who catapults down a steep incline into a busy residential street with this level of darkness is even worth saving. Anyway, after a half-hour passed, I figured it wasn't worth investigating because I didn't hear any yelps of pain or calls for help; if there was someone, he's probably dead. So hey, I guess I won't have to feed the outdoor cats tommorow.
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Sunday, August 11, 2002
 
This site used to be interesting
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Saturday, August 10, 2002
 
Yay, my mst3k webpage may soon be restored I had to temporarily redirect traffic from my MST3K fan site to this page because I lost my free hosting, but it looks like I may get a new free host within the week. Can't be 100% certain about it, and I will have to make it a MST3K + Tribes (the video game) page, which is a pretty spastic set of topics for a webpage, but hey, at least it will be up!
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Friday, August 09, 2002
 
Added a counter What, you want me to write a paragraph about it or something?
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The best of both worlds! Okay. SUVs are famous for two things: Having piss poor gas mileage and being inordinately dangerous. But thanks to good old American know how and swiss resellers, SUVs are advancing in both of these areas. Presenting the newest thing for the soccer mom who needs to pick up her kids at the mall but also likes to be able to riddle a jeep with heavy machinegun rounds should it cut her off: The Attack SUV. Now, not only is it much more dangerous than a regular SUV, it also weighs 11,000 lbs and thus gets single digit fuel mileage! And to think, people say the American automobile industry has grown stale.
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Stalker! I have my first stalker, and he's my own brother. He literally used the comment system before I even tested it. I didn't tell him before this that I was putting a comment system in. It was a spur of the moment thing. So what happens? He somehow is using the comment system before I've even finished tweaking the template. The only conclusion any rational person can make is that he's stalking me and spends 24 hours a day refreshing my page. That reminds me, I need to go get a counter. Of course, no one but my brother visits this page, so why I speak in the third person confuses me, but it's probably because I'm such a big fan of the royal "we" that's found so often in corporate speak.
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Presenting, comments! Well, I got tired of trying to register with YACCS (what scott's blog uses for comments) so I went searching elsewhere: http://netcomments.co.uk/ Seems very nifty. I'm about to give it a shot. You may not insult me easily and quickly at your own convenience using this comment system.
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Thursday, August 08, 2002
 
Halo I'm very excited to say that Halo 2 and Project Gotham Racing 2 (both Xbox games) have been announced. Jet over to your favorite gaming site for the skinny. Gamespot has some nice info on it.
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Someone please slap NBC's marketing department around... Dear god, is there some unwritten rule over at NBC that they can't have a single good commercial campaign? I mean, I've got nothing against the peacock; they're #1 for a reason. However, their commercials suck the big one. They suck it long and hard and then they choke a little bit but quickly return to sucking. Every time they get a new show, or have a big episode of an existing show coming up, they follow the same terrible formula: announcer starts droning with words like "He had nothing left to love, but then she came into his life..." and then they queue up the horrible bland and generic love music. Scott is obsessed with constantly claiming NBC is in the crapper because they're hit shows are winding down, but he's nuts. Number 1 is not the crapper. I do worry about Scrubs though, NBC's quirky dramedy that they're trying to line up as a hit. I think it'll never perform up to their expectations (ala Newsradio) because it's too off-kilter. Also, I enjoy it, so that means it will be destroyed (ala Newsradio, MST3K, the old kudos bar, the old homestyle waffles brand, Aureal audio cards, Sega, and Family Guy).
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Hidey Ho! Well hello. I just cancelled my old 56 kbps account with earthlink, so unfortunately that meant my MST3K site lost its free host. I redirected its url here for now. So when people come looking for an MST3K episode guide or pictures of shiny robots, instead they'll just find my stupid rantings.
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Wednesday, August 07, 2002
 
Could he really be this stupid? My friend Kevin just sent me this email that reeks of evil: " As I will be in Europe from today (8/8) until the 25th, would you be so kind as to send all the daily articles from the following websites to me in a daily e-mail digest so when I finally get my ass to one of those snooty anti-American internet cafes in Italy or Australia or wherever the fuck Europe is, I'll be able to keep tabs on my news? I know this isn't exactly conventional of me to do, but I won't have much internet access over there and would like to know that I'm not missing something. Thanks, buddy. Appreciate it. DVDFILE.COM: The ultimate experience in terror (all the news bits are in the middle column) Toon Zone - Welcome! Ain't It Cool News TrekToday - the first and only daily updated guide to all things Trek Cinescape - Home - Home Page - Welcome to The Digital Bits! SCIFI.COM Dark Horizons The Top 5 List (ruminations only) www.dvdtoons.com (news items only) Again, many thanks, boy wonder. " Granted, I'm not the most active person on this planet, but can you imagine asking someone to compile every news article of interest for you over a 17 day period? Especially when you've never visited half the sites?
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Monday, August 05, 2002
 
When I said tommorow, I meant when I damn well feel like it. See Post Below
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Sunday, August 04, 2002
 
Grrr I'm too rusty at html editing. I'll try to have a nice links bar up by tommorow.
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On the subject of money Unlike dearest brother, Scott, I don't intend to spend 90% of my blog speaking about my undeserved personal good fortune or wealth. However, in this one case, I'll make an exception. I was at a birthday party last night that seemed to me as good an example as any as to why communism caught on for a while. I mean, the house the party was at was already quite spacious and the outdoor land is ludicrously nice. What was considered a home at this party, would probably be considered a slightly below-average sized park to any normal person. The party had freshly prepared pizzas, valets, a hotdog stand, ice cream, and to top it all: An In-n-Out truck. When you are planning your next party, even if it means your children won't be going to college, you damn well better have an in-n-out truck there because that was pretty much the absolute hit of the party to me.
Those of you from the East and that vast fleshy middle of America that no one can remember on history tests are probably not familiar with In-n-Out, and for that I'm quite sorry. It's a great fast food place that really makes modern places like McDonalds and Burger King look like flashy jokes. The menu is small and simple, and the food includes Christian diatribes. To make sense of that last statement, you should know that all their food wrappers quote bible passages, and the walls of their restaurants have pictures of the Christian Softball teams they sponsor. Still, they make a damned fine burger at a reasonable price, so what do I care if they're zealots.

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Give me a week Hmm, I really need a comments system. That's not to say I expect people to visit, but if they do, it'd be nice if they could easily write "Your not teh funneh@!!!1" so I'd atleast know they cared.
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Videogames... Yes, one night I'll attack ABC, Disney, Daimler-Chrysler, and Germany, and the next night, I'll discuss a videogame! This is the variety you can expect from Siguy's Phantom Planet. A game I was looking forward to (Tribes: Fast Attack) was just canceled. But it was probably a good thing that it was. The game publisher, Sierra, has been pretty stupid at times, but this was probably the right call. Tribes 2, a game I truly enjoyed, was largely a failure thanks to Sierra, who in a bloated fit of boardroom furor, forced the game out the door in such a shitty and bug-ridden state that it totally failed in the marketplace. Then, as a nice little cap to that event, they sacked the dev team who made the game and closed down their small-town game company. Still, Tribes: Fast Attack probably would've been the New Coke of videogames. It came from that brilliant school of thought where you try to build a community for your game by cannibilizing another game, but in this game, that other game was also made by Sierra. In essence, they planned to release Tribes: Fast Attack and rerelease Tribes 2 at the same time, in the same package even. I mean, just imagine buying a game and then finding out that inside is a failed PC game, then a PC port of a PS2 game that was a port of the same failed PC game that you just bought in the same package. I mean, which one do you play? The original failure, or the port of the port of the failure? So now they're just gonna rerelease the old Tribes 2 game with some fixes for a bargain bin price and wait until 2005 to release the next Tribes game.
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Friday, August 02, 2002
 
Attacking faceless corporations continues! I'm going to continue my trend tonight of attacking faceless corporations. It's fun because they don't fight back, and the general populace naturally assumes that anything incorporated is the devil's voice on this earth, so every negative comment I make about them is believed accurate due to spite. Okay, here's my next target: Daimler-Chrysler. Due to the upswing in patriotism here in the states, they've started broadcasting all these Daimler-Chrysler commercials heralding the good things that happen when American and German minds come together. Now I'll be the first to admit that I don't have the best relationship with Germany (you see, my family tree is shaped like Wilma Flintstone's figure. It pretty much disappears in the 1930's), but their commercial about Einstein really pissed me off. They bragged about how "a German named Einstein" revolutionized American science. Now I don't think I'm being a picky here when I say this: Your country loses the right to brag about a native's achievements when that person flees the country in fear of his life. I mean, for fuck's sake, by their logic, America should be braggin about once having great and majestic buffalo herds.

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Speaking of the devil... My last rant against ABC just reminded me of something else that bothers me. I don't like the way Disney is bastardizing my childhood. It was one thing when I had to endure their occasional releases of some new piece of direct-to-video (now direct-to-dvd) schlock, but they're just out of control. They release about 20 new crapimations a week now. And nearly all of them are remakes or sequels to films that were actually good. I don't want Aladdin 5: Genie's Revenge, I want to remember Aladdin, a good flick. I don't want The Little Mermaid IV: The Battle for the Planet of the Apes; I'd rather remember the good and well-crafted film whose theme I used to dance in the isle t... well, let's not go there. The point is that they don't make movies any more; they just bastardize their old classics for a quick buck. Pretty soon they'll have giant guys in Mickey suits offering handjobs on the corner to make a quick five to bump up corporate profits. Woe is Mickey.
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Where has my chubby little comic gone? I'm rather disappointed to learn that the previously very good Drew Carey Show is being "retooled." That's hollywood lingo for fucked with by network goons; like when you tune in and the show's lead is a charming bachelor and then next week he's married with six kids and has a robot. It seems one of the main characters has decided to leave (boo!) and with the show's falling ratings, the network decided to fudge with things. Never mind the idea that just maybe the Drew Carey Show is in the toilet because ABC sucks ass and can't do anything right. That's not saying the Drew Carey Show is perfect; it isn't as good as it used to be, but this just icks me out. Damn ye, ABC, and your parent company disney! From my house in California, I STAB AT THEE!
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Thursday, August 01, 2002
 
Two games to play Well, just as soon as my sister sent me a link to this helicopter game and I became hopelessly addicted to that, I received another link to another game and have become hopelessly addicted to this new one. I guess addicted is the wrong word. True addiction applies to drug addicts and Scott (see post below). This second game is much more original than the first. The premise is lovely on its own: Push this man down the stairs. Find a way to do it so that it causes him the most bodily harm. The physics are fun, the man is faceless (and thus it's alright to expend our neverending rages upon him), and the high scores are difficult.
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Addiction. It's an ugly word. Well, Scott "I'm-not-very-interesting" Ganz is officially addicted to Soldat. Sure, every once in a while his roommate and "life partner" Andrew will come into his room and wipe some drool off Scott's chin, but that's as close as he gets to contact with the real world now. He just spends all his time killing little men whose only crime was being rendered by Direct X.
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