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Siguy's Blog

Thursday, October 31, 2002
 
NDA I dunno, maybe this violates some agreement, but I doubt it. Just wanted to say that I have been playing around with Xbox Live today (it's Microsoft's online plan for the Xbox game console). I just got my kit today (The Xbox Live kit isn't released until Nov. 15th but I'm a beta tester). I didn't have an extra Ethernet cord, so I just unplugged the one from my computer to play. The demos weren't too fun, but I just had a game of NBA 2k3 that was great. I got my butt handed to me (9 point loss, Lakers vs. Kings). The guy on the other end swore a bit, but he was overall pretty nice and the voice communication really did add something. It was great to hear him go "Shit" everytime one of my guys went for a three-point shot. Perhaps next time I'll try a different team, since even though I'm an LA local, I felt like a poser because I think everyone online probably chooses the Lakers. As for the lag issues. When we were playing, things were essentially perfect. There were two moments where things froze for 6 seconds. And I did notice that since he was hosting the game he had a slight advantage (my guys got the ball stolen from them a disproportionate number of times, which is annoying, but it's understandable that the game wouldn't be perfect). Overall it was really fun. I can't wait until something comes out that allows for cooperative play because I think the microphone headset really adds something so long as the guy on the other end isn't a dipshit.
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Bad Our big stupid dog is continuing his pattern. He terrifies people who come up to our door, which happens to happen a lot on halloween night (or All Hallow's Eve if you're a pretentious asshole), and then when the door is only opened, he just stands there sniffing. He's all bark and no bite. He has plenty of passion, but no plan about what he's going to do when he reaches the door. Maybe in the future, he'll work harder to have some sort of strategy.
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Wednesday, October 30, 2002
 
Musing Today I found a card on the ground that said "Don't despair! If you're a teenager contemplating suicide, please call this phone number for help." My first thought was: "Wouldn't it be funny if someone used the sharp plastic edges of this card to slit their wrists?" Yes, I'm just that sunny and cheery ladies and gentlemen!
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Trapped ... by a smile Okay, so I got stuck in some painful traffic coming home from my haircut. This wasn't just traffic though, this was traffic that had something to prove. In the TV highschool drama of traffics, this was the young ethnic tough guy trying to prove himself and pay for his little sister's schooling, but who causes trouble and dies in a shootout. But that doesn't matter. In what can only be described as a complete opposite to every experience I've ever had with a big company, my dsl problems (described a few posts ago), were not only promptly resolved, but my situation has actually improved. You may remember that I complained that my dsl connection might end up cut by more than half to maintain stability. But today, while I was in school, Pacific Bell (apparently fresh from being barred from any and all advertising by their parent company, SBC) technicians came, fixed the problem, and left with me with connection speeds that were actually FASTER than when my dsl was working perfectly. Stunning. My heart's all a flutter. The extra 26 KB/s they've given me will allow me to download videos of Leonard Nimoy singing about hobbits at extraordinary speed :)
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Tuesday, October 29, 2002
 
JewMonitor Now you can monitor the Jewish Conspiracy with the help of CGI Web Apps! http://cgi-bin.spaceports.com/~jewmonit/main.php Just copy and paste that into a browser window to begin tracking Jews all over the world! This site is interesting. Disturbing really. I signed myself up as a new user: JesusLover. And have begun filing reports on a ficticious Jewish family next door to me. Here's my first Jew Report: "Report Subject: He washed his car Report: Today he washed his car ... USING WATER!!! I've taken this as a sign to mean that the Great Jew Conspiracy (not to be confused with The Great Pumpkin) is moving on to phase II, defluoridation of the water supply. I've noticed that a disproportionate number of Dentists are Jewish (probably thanks to Jew-rigged entrace exams). I think this is part of a plan to flood these bastards with even more money. So you see. Phase 1: Wash Car. Phase 2: Deflouridize Water. Phase 3: PROFIT! Do these Jew bastards think about anything but money!?!?" PS: Unfortunately, the site reports that "The jews got us - in order to shut down Jew Monitor, they have forced the whole free service of our web provider down!" So Jew Monitor may be off the web, which means the Jewish Juggernaut can continue unabated. Sadly, the two individuals who had already contributed to the database will now have to keep detailed notes on everything their Jewish neighbors do for themselves, without the ability to share them with others. Double PS: Apparently I'm wrong. The cause of anti-semitis... err, I mean FREEDOM has prevailed: "It is my pleasure, and honour to inform you of the re-opening of the Jew Monitor. We have finally sorted out the problems (caused by the jew) that have plagued the on-line operations." What a surprise, they're European. It'd be ever so unfortunate if I subscribed a certain "webmaster@jewmonitor.cjb.net" to every mailing list I can find. And triple PS: After signing Mr. JewMonitor up for about 400 mailing lists, I also sent an email to abuse@spaceports.com because this site clearly violates their Terms of Service agreement which says no hate mongering sites or sites that are threatening or abusive may be hosted.
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Woopdee Doo There's a lot complaining that the memorial for Wellstone was too much like a campaign rally. Well if that's what his family (his sons) wanted, and if that's probably what the pretty hardcore liberal Wellstone would've wanted, what's the big fucking deal? It's not like anyone forced the local TV stations to cover it. The only thing wrong with this that I see is that the campaign staff who also died in the plane crash really only had a partial memorial because their deaths were so overshadowed by Wellstone's, but that's to be expected in a situation like this.
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Predictions I'm making a TV prediction. In a move that's sure to hurt the somewhat waining show, I'm guessing that NBC is going to give poor Niles Crane cancer. I base this off vague sweeps-like commercials saying that something "no one ever imagined" will strike Niles in the November episodes of Frasier. While I certainly can't compare Niles Crane to the late Dr. Greene of ER in terms of character traits, there are certainly some parallels building here. NBC's answer to shows that have been having unusually happy plotlines and mild ratings declines is to kill someone. I'm not saying Niles will die. I doubt he will. Comedies aren't built that way and I've heard none of the usual "contract negotiation" talk that usually accompanies killing someone on TV. But I'm now predicting he'll get cancer. Sure, it could be some other potentially-fatal disease, but viewers understand cancer and its treatment is easier to drag out for ratings.
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Double Grr Just finished up with an SBC guy about my DSL line. The line kept losing its connection, so his temporary solution since the problem is not within the house was to downgrade the signal. It's pretty fucking annoying. I tried to explain that I used to get about 450 kbps not the 256 kbps he seemed to think I got, but it didn't really work out. I don't know what's worst, an inconsistent connection or a consistent connection that's much fucking slower. A few issues. 1) Whenever a major company I want to scream at sends out a representative, they're always nice and highly skilled. This infuriates me because it gives me no person to rail against. 2) If when this is all over, my speeds are stuck at this level, I'll be pissed with the company, but seeing as there's no cable internet access in the area and how I'll be heading off to college by next summer, any long-term fight seems disturbingly pointless. So now I have to grin and take download speeds 1.5 times slower than what I was consistently getting just a month ago. 3) Apparently Pacific Bell, Nevada Bell, and that other Bell still exist, but SBC doesn't want us to think they do. That's why I see 400 SBC commercials a day but nothing about these Bell companies that they own. Unhappily yours, -Siguy
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Moose Droppings Forget about paying the trumped up prices for official Angels 2002 World Series Champions Memorabilia. Now you can relive the most beloved moments of everybody's favorite Washington-area detective by buying unofficial Chief Moose Merchandise! Just like a duck in a noose, these wares are priced to move! On a side-note, the site appears to be donating all the money to charity, so this is not some cheap attempt to capitalize on Mr. Moose's non-existent celebrity.
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Monday, October 28, 2002
 
Tempted but sore About once a month I decide that I'm going to download Freenet, but then I eventually shy away. This article over at CNET sums up the project pretty well. I have no use whatsoever for this program, but I find the concept extremely exhilirating. Basically it's a filesharing service, but without the baser ambitions of such P2P's as Kazaa or Direct Connect. The goal here isn't to make it as easy as possible to share pirated movies and music. If that was the idea, the project would've come out long ago, or drifted into abandon as the other P2P services gracefully fulfilled the needs of the amateur online thief. Instead the goal here is complete anonymity. What files would be on this network? Anything. The project is intended to make up for the fact that the internet, however warm and safe the blanket of its supposedly anonymous nature may feel, really has no simple way to be truly anonymous. If you try to run a pro-democracy website in China, it's going to be blocked and you will be found. But freenet creates a sort of parallel internet, where not even the person serving up the information knows what the hell it is. This means someone can post whatever the hell they want without fear of censorship. Obviously this poses ethical dilemmas since unscrupulous folks like child pornographers or maybe even terrorists could use it to hide their tracks, but the value of such a service seems to me to far outweigh these possible shortcomings. So why haven't I downloaded it? Well, it's freaky. The whole project has the feel of something underground that you shouldn't be playing with if you don't know what the hell you're doing. More than that, the last time I tried to read a Frequently Asked Questions page explaining how to install and troubleshoot basic problems with the service, my eyes went cockeyed and I passed out. Besides just that, I used to hear little stories about people's cd drives or hardware having problems having installing the software (obviously unintended by the programmers, but still worrisome). So here we are again. A new version, which they are claiming is finally ready for primetime, but here I am, very interested in the concepts, but with no real use for the service, and plenty of fears, perhaps innaccurate, about potential problems caused by installing it. And so concludes the longest and most boring post in the history of bloggerdom. I mean, shit, I should've given out pillows at the start of this thing.
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If I hear this "Not a democracy" thing one more time... I'm so fucking sick of everyone who's ever taken a remedial history course jumping on you everytime you use the word democracy with anything involving the United States. I FUCKING GET IT! I understand that we're a democratic republic. When someone says that "American Democracy is worth fighting for," you don't have to be a fucking dipshit and try to ignore whatever the person is talking about via stupid verbal semantics. It's not clever and I'm fucking sick of it.
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Sunday, October 27, 2002
 
PS One more blurb. Stargate SG-1 will probably have a seventh season. I like the show, but this probably puts the nail in the coffin of Farscape. Scifi doesn't have a lot of money to throw around, so I doubt they'll go back on their decision to cancel Farscape now that they've got a seventh season of the more successful Stargate to pay for. That's not to say I think Farscape is a lot better than Stargate SG-1, just that Stargate SG-1 was given its chance to end its run gracefully with Season six, whereas Farscape will surely end with some sort of never-to-be-resolved cliffhanger thanks to the studio reneging on the promise of a season five.
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Where the money goes Who gives to who in politics: OpenSecrets.org. Neat site. Maybe you've seen it before. It's a bit hard to navigate. You can see some neat things, like you can watch Microsoft shift its spending from Democrats to Republicans as their antitrust trial began.
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Yay! Yay, the Angles won! Now let's all turnover cars to prove to the world that we're all a bunch of fucking morons!!!! Woohoo! Sure, we were rooting for the Dodgers two months ago, but we can't let that stop us from setting things on fire! WOOHOO! BURN BABY BURN! ANGELS FOREVER!
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This should be illegal So I'm driving home at night after getting some gas, and I'm going down this small residential street. Suddenly visibility turns to zero and I can't see anything except what appears to be smoke/fog with my headlights. The effect ended as soon as it began, and as I drove away I realized that I had just passed someone setting up a haunted house, complete with fog machine. I doubt the house will be too scary, since neon lights are hardly frightening, but I'm sure the six car pileup that kills 50 trick-or-treaters on halloween night because of that stupid fog machine will be. On another driving related note, people in California must have very bad memories. Almost every year there's a period where it rains very hard for a few days, yet every year when this happens, everyone has already forgotten how to drive. Just the other day, someone accelerating through a small left turn in the rain nearly smashed a gardener into a truck. The mother and daughter were driving one of those giant train-like SUVs that no one but the CIA has real uses for and they skidded right into this parked truck. The gardener had to jump up onto the side of the truck to avoid being squashed and then he fell and hit his leg. The mother and daughter got out to help him, but I was confused as to what my responsibility was. At first I thought they might need my cell phone, but then I realized they didn't and I decided to drive on past because the person behind me was honking. So if you ever get in an accident, you should probably hope I'm not the first one to drive by.
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Saturday, October 26, 2002
 
As my guide and I watch from the bushes... we're startled by the almost human-like reasoning abilities of the creature. What creature might this be? Well it's the ultra-liberal Jew. What powers does an ultra-liberal Jew have that a regular ultra-liberal doesn't have? The ability to see anti-semitism everywhere, including Star Trek [please note this article is fairly old, but I hadn't see it until now]. Let me quote that article from the nation I linked above, which is an analysis of the newest Star Trek show: "The Vulcans have withheld scientific information from 'us' because they are envious, effete dominators who can't stand our vitality, our creativity, our closeness to life. Want me to spell it out? What they really hate is our balls. In this way, they are straight out of Nazi propaganda about Jews, so that I almost expected to see little comics of Vulcans poisoning the wells of Aryans and strangling Nordic farmers with their moneybags." That's from a condemnation of the new Star Trek show which she goes on to describe as a show that promotes racism and sexism. I don't think you need to watch Enterprise to see how stupid this whole article is. It's peppered with so-called examples from the show. Most are from the pilot, and most of those are not just out-of-context, but totally misrepresented. She describes Enterprise as "a frank vehicle for white male suprematism and resentment." She even goes so far as to analyze the opening credits as some sort of endorsement of fifteenth-century European white supremacism. Really quite pathetic.
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What, me positive? Well Gov. Davis has gone back on a pledge to run a positive campaign until election day. I hadn't heard of the pledge, but I knew his new ads weren't working for a number of reasons. First of all, some of them actually mentioned issues, which apparently voters in California don't want to hear about because they already hate both these candidates so much. And secondly, positive ads are meant to accentuate the positives ... Davis and Simon have none. The last poll I saw gave Davis a 10 percentage point advantage over Simon. Simon's going to run a last hail-mary 2 million dollar advertising campaign that should fill my TV viewing with lots of swirling newspaper quotes but probably won't change the electorate.
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I couldn't publish all of yesterday. And before that I couldn't publish because my DSL was down.
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Friday, October 25, 2002
 
Temp
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Yikes The death of Senator Wellstone really came as a shock to me. I had just started to really follow the mid-term elections in-depth, ala my 7 month long obsessive election 2000 watch. When I first heard about the incident, the first thing that came to my mind was this "Jesse Ventura is going to control the senate." Later I found out that the Democrats had time to replace Wellstone. I'm not quite sure how this will affect the election. I mean, with Carnahan the sympathy was easy to understand, but will voters in Minnesota really transfer sympathy from one candidate to another based on party status? I'm sure the advertising gurus advising the campaigns down there must be panicing. First the Republican opponent needs to find a way to prevent himself from slipping into obscurity behind the bad news and then the new candidate needs to enter into the race and get his name spread around, and both need to do this without looking like they're dancing on the grave. Now when I heard that Walter Mondale was likely to become the new nominee, I had another reaction. "Isn't he dead?" If I didn't know he was a live, I have to wonder how many voters remember he's alive. Though, judging by these 1984 election results, the fewer who remember him the better. He's 74 by the way. I find perverse pleasure in looking at the 1984 election results because it's such an unmitigated bloodbath. Mondale won one state and the district of columbia. And that state, which happens to be Minnesota, was won by only 0.2%. Oh well. I guess we all just have to wait and see how this turns out.
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By special decree... I'm hereby awarding Microsoft a special award of my own creation: The wow that's an unintentional but incredibly creepy Ad award! On the plus side, you don't see many armless child actors so I suppose this is a big coup for those seeking greater representation of disabled people in advertising, but this also raises several questions about what message MSN is trying to convey: Perhaps MSN is trying to warn us that should we sign up for AOL, their animated butterfly will eat our childrens' arms? Or perhaps they are insinuating that children such as Timmy here, who have no arms, need the most protection from the internet because of their disabilities? It might also be that the child has arms and they've been covered with some sort of colorful towel, but this seems unlikely since I don't recall towels being particularly good at protecting children's safety except when dealing with certain aliens who believe that if you can't see them, they can't see you.
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Thursday, October 24, 2002
 
TV News: 1% News, 99% dancing monkeys I don't like TV news. The big cable news networks are really terrible now. I really like getting my news via the internet because the big sites like cnn.com tend to post less speculation that way. I think it's just harder for them to actually write down some totally wild piece of speculation on their site because writing something down legitimizes it. So with CNN's website you get more facts and less bullshit. There are negatives, however. Though CNN.com now has a big red bar that shows up when there's breaking news, it tends to following anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes after the news hits TV. The Cable News networks are good for getting news right as it happens, but the second after they get that news, they become pathetic tap-dancers who spread baseless guesses. It's like after the first press conference announcing that the police had received a note from the sniper. Within five minutes, the anchors and pundits of course had nothing concrete to talk about, so they started guessing whether the note made it more or less likely to be a terrorist sniper group or a lone angry white guy. On a sidenote, I understand that FoxNews kills CNN in the ratings now because they have more interesting talkshows and hosts. However, it's quite clear to me and should be to anyone who glances at these networks that CNN is simply better at the actual news part of being a cable news network. Their sources are better and faster. Even when it's stupid video, they have video of events that the other networks simply don't. This gap isn't that pronounced nationally, but it's gets even more apparent when it comes to international matters, since CNN has had a 20 year headstart on building connections and operations all around the world. FoxNews may be more entertaining, but CNN actually does its job better. Though as I already said, after the first minute of a breaking news story, I feel none of the cable news channels is worth watching.
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I dunno I've heard a lot of people starting to change their evaluations of how the police handled the sniper incident. They tend to view Moose in a more positive light now that this looks to be wrapped up. I doubt Moose was stupid, though he just sounded awkward and weird in all his press conferences. Still, people are acting like there was some sort of brilliance or incredible skill involved here. The sniper called them up and tipped them off about a past crime for which they had a fingerprint on file. Now the interpolice cooperation between all those states and the FBI was quite well done and reasonably impressive, but it's still not like anyone "cracked" the case. So yes, in the end the task force quite competently handled the giant clue thrown in their face by the sniper, but it's still worth wondering if they would've ever caught him had he not picked up the phone.
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Wednesday, October 23, 2002
 
Wal-Mart, thy name is panic-y whore I'm adding this one to my list of reasons why I'll never enter a Wal-Mart. A Wal-Mart (not all Wal-Marts) has decided to pull violent videogames off the shelves in response to the recent sniper scare. Of course, "response" is the wrong word because it implies atleast some sort of thinking. This decision would make no sense for any Wal-Mart anywhere, but we could atleast understand how such a thing might happen in the extremely tense and frightened DC area. This store, however, is in San Diego. Here's a gem from a typical Wal-Mart customer: " 'If the snipers didn't have violence in their life, I don't think they'd be as violent as they are. I agree wholeheartedly with Wal-Mart in taking the video games off. And I think they should stay off,' said Bobbie Harkey, a Tierrasanta resident and Wal-Mart customer. " [please excuse my rampant overuse of various highlighting techniques, but there's so much wrong with this sentence that it was hard to resist the urge to just take down my entire site and display this thing in 72-point font] Well sure, that makes a load of fucking sense. I can certainly see how she believes these violent videogames in San Diego are inspiring thousands of snipers all around the country to be more violent. Now that we've locked up these videogames, there will never be any violence in any snipers' lives ever again. This is based on the fact that we all know from detailed studies that most snipers today became snipers because of videogames. Of course, that would mean that they had to be inspired by Duck Hunt back on the NES, but it's a short leap from badly pixelated ducks to deciding to shoot 13 people two decades later. Of course, the article itself is fatally flawed: "The video games that are being recalled feature snipers targeting and killing innocent people." Never mind that that isn't true. The games in question involve (in order of their appearance in the article) shooting robots, firing blue discs at futuristic robot suits, and finally, saving hostages by shooting international terrorists. It's almost as if they picked the games at random. PS: Yes, it's true, I'm the one person in America who has never even seen a Wal-Mart in person.
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Uninventive Now I've let Washington (the state) get a lot of leeway over the years, but today was the last straw. So I'm sitting there watching helicopter footage of a couple of police officers walking around a patch of dirt for 20 minutes, and everyone keeps saying these are the newest developments "in Washington." So I was pretty surprised when they showed a map and I realized that this was taking place in Washington the state, and not Washington DC. You see, I had assumed that any leads involving the sniper would be found less than 3,000 miles away. But this just brought to bear the fact that Washington the state has a very annoying name. They've confused me for the last time. From now on, I'm calling them North Oregon.
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Tuesday, October 22, 2002
 
Longhorn Please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm a bit of a windows enthusiast. I like to keep up on all the newest Windows OS developments. Anyway, the next BIG release (there will be small updates between now and then) of Windows is codenamed Longhorn. Here are what appear to be the first real legit screenshots. Of course, it's a very real possibility that these are fake, but if they are fake shots, then whoever made them put a hell of a lot more effort into them than previous fakers. Nothing too interesting here, but some of the the interface changes are worth looking at, even if they aren't final. Judging by how much friggin space the new UI takes up (windows have much bigger task features and there's a second much larger bar aside from the normal taskbar), I think MS is expecting that a lot more people will be running at really high resolutions by the time this thing comes out. I run at 1024x768, and my monitor is a giant incredibly heavy beast that extends back 40 feet, but with modern monitors and new LCD screens, a lot more people seem to be running at either very high resolutions like 1600x1200 or dual monitor setups. Hell, I recently saw a tri-monitor setup advertised.
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Offical Linking There, I officially added my friend Kevin's new web blog to the list of sites on the left side of the page. I had originally planned to put him above my brother as revenge for putting me under Sesame Street Disco on his page, but I didn't want to put him over Asparagirl who provides roughly 300% of my viewership. And I couldn't quite put Asparagirl over Scott because that would ruin my carefully crafted attitude of mean-spirited indifference toward her relationship with Scott. I had a lot of fun mucking with Kevin's html. It's still basically the same template he started with, and I had planned to change a lot more stuff, but I got too obsessed with creating the image on the top of his page and choosing fonts. Originally he had five pictures of stones there. I mean, what the fuck is that? Now when you visit his page you get the basic gist of him real quick. It's much more subtle than my page's "For that rich, cold taste only a smart-ass Jew can provide!" It reminded me of back when I first learned HTML and was trying to start a million projects with my newfound knowledge. But then the high wore off when I got sick of messing with his tables so I just left it in its current state, which I feel is quite nice, though perhaps a little bit off in a way I can't describe. Perhaps I'll monkey with it later (for instance, adding a link back to myself [evil laugh]). The overall upside to this whole affair is that I now know how to spell Kevin's last name. Someday I may learn how to spell Asparagirl's.
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Remember when? Remember back when I made that post talking about a new poll that claimed that Bill Simon was leading in the California Governor's race? You should, it was only a few posts ago. Remember, I called it bullshit? And if you don't remember, then you should be reading the site more closely, you lazy bastard. Anyway, here's a new poll giving Davis a 10% lead. Simon is once again trying to spin this as a positive. He says it's a good sign that Davis hasn't expanded his lead. He claims that Gov. Davis is scared of him and that he's poised to shoot up in the polls. This guy really is the worst candidate for governor in California history. Speaking of pathetic: New polls have indicated that McCall, the democratic candidate for Governor in New York, may end up with a THIRD PLACE finish. That's right, third place. Democrats would have third-place billing on state ballots for the next 6 years. I mean, I understand that he would have little chance of beating Pataki, but in a state where registered Democrats outnumber Republicans by 2 million people, I'd expect atleast a competitive race. If you ask me, the Dems would've had a better chance if McCall had dropped out of the race weeks ago and Clinton had taken his place. Yes, that Clinton. Atleast he would've made the race exciting, and I think he'd have a serious chance at a win.
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It'll save me money Now some might say that AntiPornGuy is a fascist who wishes to strip citizens of basic human rights. However, they would be missing several very reasonable ideas. Sure, he may be a moralistic monster trying to impose his right-wing views on others, but his discussion of a national dress code really struck a cord. You see, I've worn the same outfit (khaki pants and a v-neck shirt) for about 6 years now. I learned long ago that jeans are evil. I'm not entirely sure what AntiPornGuy bases his policy of banning all jeans on, but either way society will benefit to be rid of them. So when AntiPornGuy gets elected and begins his campaign to spy on everyone's bedrooms to enforce his sex laws, everyone will be forced to buy new clothes to fit into his national dress code, everyone, that is, except for me. So please support AntiPornGuy. He's clearly right about the issues as you can tell by his unbiased information page, "fag facts." Onward Christian Soldiers, Khaki pants for all! PS: The site is probably a joke.
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Theories So far in this blog I've analyzed the past and haven't made any predictions. So it's pretty easy to be right when it's all opinion. Anyway, here's a theory of mine. It's probably not true, but I think it makes sense. I think that this recent DC Sniper is not and has not been using a white van. I think that all the witnesses have heard from the news that he was in a white van and thus after every attack they've looked around and decided whatever white van they see must be him. I think that this is something that has seriously hurt the police because their entire effort seems to have been based on surrounding shooting sites with cops who check every white van. I personally hope that the sniper is caught, and I suspect that he will be because he's probably mentally ill. He might've been able to go on killing people for months, but now it seems like he's been writing notes and making threats and calling the police. That isn't the behavior of a terrorist; it's the behavior of an insane serial murderer. I have no real reason for this, but I have a feeling that this whole thing is being handled incompetently. Something about the police over there just doesn't feel right. I suspect that this is just because they haven't been successful, and not because they are actually incompetent. And now for related information. I don't understand the opposition to ballistic fingerprinting of all guns sold in the United States. It doesn't infringe on anyone's right to own a gun. Even if criminals can screw with the gun barrel, criminals are stupid and rarely do these things well so it will still help solve many many crimes. And I certainly don't buy the big brother government angle. How does the government knowing the lines and grooves of your rifle barrel make them more able to come in and take your weapon away? It's just a simple procedure that says this guy bought a gun with these grooves. Anyone trying to find constitutional grounds to argue against something like this is clutching at straws.
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Monday, October 21, 2002
 
To Afghanistan, and Beyond! I hereby present to you, the huddled masses, the George W. Bush speech generator. The striking ease with which realistic Bush speeches can be created using this flash program is truly remarkable. There should be more copies of connective words like "be" but this whole thing still does a nice job of confirming Scott's earlier point that the President really needs a thesaurus.
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I smell bull**** Here's an article referring to a new poll that claims California candidate for Governor, Bill Simon, is leading in the election. I think this is complete bullshit. The poll was conducted by the California Teachers Association, which has endorsed Gov. Davis, but if you'll read this article, I think you'll see that they're not exactly in love with him. The last LA Times poll (registration required) gave Davis 45% and Simon 35%. Yet this new CTA poll gives Davis 33.7% and Simon 34.2%. The Times poll is a little out of date, but things have only gotten worse for Simon since then. He had that terrible snafu where he accused the governor of committing a crime and then had to admit publicly that he was mistaken. Davis has not only outspent him on ads since then, but he's done smarter ads targetting Simon's ultra-conservative views. So this new poll makes no sense. My guess is that it has questions that force more people to consider themselves undecided than are actually undecided. Also, polling of California is almost as difficult as polling the nation. Conservatives have often whined that California polls don't reflect the less firmly democratic segments fairly, but on election day 2000, a California poll said Bush and Gore were tied. Gore won the state by 12%.
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Sunday, October 20, 2002
 
Intentions I intended to link to my friend Kevin's new blog sometime soon. As of now I cannot classify it. At first I thought I'd say that fans of comic books would enjoy it, but it spans not only his personal life but also such discussions as who would win in a fight, Hitler or the Easter Bunny. As of now there are two posts. So you may want to give him a week to build in the content arena. Also, I've offered my help with html should he want it.
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Scott set his script in the wrong show Scott and his life-partner Andrew have deposited their script with me. It's set in the show Scrubs. I haven't read it yet, but already I know he missed a big opportunity. Instead of setting the show in the Scrubs TV show, he should've set it in It's a Very Muppet Christmas Movie. You see, then he could've not only used all the Scrubs characters, but also the cast of the Muppets, Jon Stewart, Kelly Ripa, Whoopi Goldberg, David Arquette, Carson Daly, Joan Cusack, and William H. Macy.
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HOLY SHIT!! The Drudge Report is reporting that drugs have been found on Kid Rock's tour bus!! Not only that, but Mr. Drudge has made his fonts red to symbolize the urgent and amazing nature of this story. Please do not panic. I know this may be shocking to those of us who held him up as a role model to our children. Not all of the information is in, so we cannot know how this information will affect the wholesome image Kid Rock has worked so hard to create with the public. I'll stay with this story for as long as it takes! You may want to be with your families so that you can better handle this incredible turn of events. This just confirms in my mind that Pamela Anderson has turned another one of America's most beloved rockstar sons astray from the path of honest christian values.
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Willy Wonka's bilingual hiring practices Well I'm enraged. I turned onto the Telemundo channel for the chance to watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in Spanish. As someone who doesn't speak spanish, I was enthralled. I waited patiently for the "Pure Imagination" song. I wanted to hear the spanish dubber singing. They cut the scene out. What's the fucking point of the movie if you cut out all the musical numbers. So then I said to myself. Wait, I can still see the dubbed Oompa Loompa scenes because those can't be cut without damaging continuity. They were in english. Apparently Willy Wonka walks around his plant all day speaking nothing but spanish, but his magical imported chocolate creatures speak only english. Perhaps there's some state law that enforces bilingual hiring practices and even magic chocolate factories aren't exempt.
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Down with the str8t businez power structure!! This link is courtesy of the always controversial humor site, SomethingAwful.com. The site is sort of like the blog from hell, complete with song lyrics. Scott frequently states that he absolutely hates when ultra-liberals spell America as "Amerika" in protest of how evil we all are. Well I'm sure he'll love this guy. He's unwilling to spell the word "man" or any of its derivatives correctly. That's right, as a protest against god knows what he constantly writes about the evils of "humynz." SomethingAwful.com had this to say of him: "What do you call a whiny, hypocritical, anti-American, teenage, anarchist wannabe rebelling against his cushy suburban life through crappy prose and godawful lyrics? In this case, you call him Luke."
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We've secretly replaced your politician with a comedian McCain was surprisingly good on Saturday Night Live. I expected him to be terrible. He did have that annoying constantly look at the cue-cards thing, but he was really pretty impressive overall.
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Saturday, October 19, 2002
 
Premature It appears my fears that Adam Sandler would try to become a dramatic actor and thus destroy the world were premature. But now I'm starting to wonder if him trying to play Hamlet would've been better than that movie I just linked to above.
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Laff So I check TNN from time to time because they broadcast CSI and Star Trek reruns. Anyway, I tune in, and they're trying to show the movie Showgirls. Now I've never seen showgirls, but I know enough about its "content" that I was very interested to see how they would handle pounds and pounds of nudity on a cable TV station. Computer Generated clothes. That's right, they used computers to try to add clothes to naked dancing women. Why'd they even bother trying to show the movie?
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Disgust FoxNews today explained to me a "theory" about the sniper. Yes, you see, apparently the sniper is probably two "loser boys" who play a lot of videogames that "glamorize" snipers. They base this theory on the fact that they're FUCKING MORONS. Apparently in their warped minds, if someone kills someone, police shouldn't investigate the circumstances and look for witnesses; they should head on over to the local EB Games and start looking at who recently purchased videogames. My local UPN station also wondered aloud, complete with video clips, whether the sniper was someone inspired by "hollywood's glamorization of snipers." Now, these are two of the stupidest segments in the history of media. First of all, they act like every movie and videogame has a glorified sniper in it, which is quite simply not true. And then there's the fact that they're trying to blame videogames and movies for the actions of a serial killer. Under that logic, let's get those two remaining Beatles and lock the fuckers up for their part in the Manson family murders. They have no reason whatsoever to try to make this connection except for the fact that the sniper case has too few leads for them to talk about. They're condemning entire industries because they have nothing to talk about, and that's pretty fucking low.
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I had to reread this I had to reread this story to figure out if it was real. Apparently senators are being warned that "al Qaeda snipers" may try to kill them ... on golf courses. I mean, talk about a specific threat. But it just sounds so incredibly odd. First it relies on the concept that all senators play golf, and then on the concept that Al Qaeda has snipers within the US (which is a pretty big fucking leap), and then onto the concept that these terrorists would decide that the best way to kill a Senator was to try to shoot him while he tries to wedge his ball out of a sand trap on the back nine. Frankly, I think that the US government has been totally dicked around by these Al Qaeda detainees. Everytime someone is arrested or there's a new threat, the government says it's been questioning these people, but that just sounds so stupid to me. I mean, those detainees have been sitting in a damned camp for a year, so I have no idea what they're going to tell anyone about the recent DC Sniper attacks. Yeah, they could say that Al Qaeda was training snipers for such a mission, but should we believe a word these guys have said? I certainly don't remember it ever being claimed that any of the recently thwarted terrorist attacks were stopped thanks to tips from captured Al Qaeda members. Obviously we don't have access to the information the government has so we can't really judge this practice, but everything in my gut tells me that the US government is being played for kicks by Al Qaeda prisoners, who can just make up fake attack information and thus cause the feds to invest time and money protecting against an attack that doesn't exist. Another distinct possibility is that this is just some bone that the government keeps throwing to the media so that they have something concrete to say about these international investigations. That way the media has something specific to say instead of just the bland "the government plans to investigate this" statements.
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Friday, October 18, 2002
 
Overexposure? I feel like McCain is overexposing himself to the public right now. I mean, the guy is really loved, and deservedly so, but this is the book tour to end all book tours. He's been on all the talk shows, and now he's going to be on Saturday Night Live, a concept which causes me endless confusion. He's an amusing guy, but he's so physically stiff because of his injuries that I just can't imagine him being within 40 feet of sketch comedy. Doesn't really matter though; he's still one of the few people on this earth who is keeping the term "politician" from meaning evil.
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I need a pasta maker, three pens, and 2.5 ounces of gasoline The WB, as part of their continued strategy of creating TV shows based on every single fucking property ever owned by Warner Brothers, now plans to make a new Macgyver show. ...wait for it .... The show is titled Young Macgyver. That's right. Young Macgyver. It'll be Macgyver's nephew. Could they have possibly come up with a spinoff concept that was less original? I don't think so.
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What the fuck? A murder mystery blog entry. There are 3 people with my cell phone number. At first I thought my brother or sister had their phone in a bag and it had gotten jostled and called me 7 times over a period of 3 days. I've had 7 incomprehensible 2-minute long voicemail messages of two or more people having a conversation. Now, each one became easier and easier to understand because whatever called me had less and less interference. Now the last one made me think that maybe my phone had accidently called myself because I thought I heard NPR in the background and that's what I listen to when I'm driving home from school, but that doesn't make sense because the messages all happened at times when I couldn't possibly have been using my cell phone (ie while I was in class). The words I heard were very confusing: "Republican" "train stops" and what sounded like some woman recounting a story to a girlfriend. Now when I got my phone out of my bag today, the battery was unreasonably low, so I'm wondering if maybe it got banged up in my bag, accidently turned on (which would be amazing given the way the on button is placed), then called itself repeatedly by calling my voicemail service. The phone is really really scraped up. I've dropped it onto asphalt twice, but the scrapes I'm seeing make it look more like I've been practicing juggling with the phone. I may have to go back to carrying it in my pocket, but the problem there is that it falls out. BAM! Just had a memory hit me. Last night in my room, at my computer, I heard a little beep noise that I couldn't figure out. It must've been the phone telling me its battery was dead. The conversations must've been my classes. I'm quite lucky the phone made no noise during all of this because the school confiscates them if they go off during class. Case Solved thanks to writing this all out on the blog. Perhaps the sniper task force should get a blog.
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Thursday, October 17, 2002
 
Not gonna change Scott just wrote about President Bush's use of the same terms over and over again for every new terrorist attack or world issue. I agree that talking about everything in generalizations just dehumanizes the events, but I think that this will never change. No, it's not some brilliant piece of planned strategy, but the public hates the educated. The public gets "cowardly act of terror," but you start saying "a horrible act of pusillanimity," and pundits start calling you disconnected from the people and your poll numbers drop. The average person probably feels reassured by the fact that President Bush mispronounces "Nuclear" every time because it makes him seem easier to relate to. I know this sounds like elitism, but I also think that oversimplification resonates with the American public. It's like the Reagan "Evil Empire" line. It's just something that makes us all think of that classic sense of American patriotism and "good" clear cut World War II. So Bush isn't going to be ordering his writers to dig into any thesauri any time soon.
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It's official I'm officially declaring Matt Drudge pond scum. Some of you may remember my impassioned plea to Barbara Streisand to please shut the fuck up. However, Mr. Drudge now seems to be taking everything she says, running it past spellcheckers, and then trying to pretend he's found explosive news by revealing every tiny mistake her informal memos to congressional members contain. Get this. She accidently called Saddam Hussein Iranian instead of Iraqi ... that's it. There's nothing else. That's the "news" he is running on his site, complete with a fucking timeline trying to pretend there's a trend or some legitimate reason for him to be broadcasting every sound Streisand makes while she's trying to take a crap. He stinks at this celebrity gossip stuff. Drudge should go back to what he's good at: posting links to poorly researched fear mongers that predict epic disasters.
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Priorities You'll be glad to know that CNN understands the issues that today's people care about. For instance, the news that Dell Computers might stop using a certain actor for their commercials has been front page news for well over a day now. I'm interested to see if this North Korea nuclear scare manages to remain on the front page that long. Speaking of which, man, North Korea really sucks. Someone I was speaking to said that the US is hypocritical to have nuclear weapons (aside: another minuteman intercontinental ballistic missile flew by my window the other night) while trying to deny them to other countries. I think that's a classic example of "I have no real solutions, but I'm gonna yell about things anyway." We can't uninvent nuclear weapons, but that doesn't mean those of us who already have them should start giving them out at parties. The argument goes that MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction) will ensure that these new mini-nuclear powers won't go destroying the world as we know it, but that's precisely the problem; it won't. A fanatical muslim cleric could take over Pakistan tommorow and millions would be dead in India by the end of the week. A crazy dictator is not going to follow MAD because that would require logical thinking and respect for human life. No country can ever really be ready to handle nuclear weapons because they pose such an incredible risk, but I sure as hell know that stable countries like the US and Britain were far more qualified to deal with them than North Korea or Iraq are today. Elected governments have real responsibilities toward their people, and generally try to refrain from irradiating them. We never had to worry that Jimmy Carter was going to lose an election and start firing missiles all over the place. This whole North Korea issue will probably end up in their favor as Japan and South Korea agree to some new compromise in exchange for yet another promise. The question can be asked: "Why go after Iraq instead of North Korea?" Well, besides the simple logistical fact that North Korea is a lot better defended than Iraq, I personally think that the main reason is quite simple: Propoganda. People in North Korea think their leaders invented electricity. Iraq will probably never be another Vietnam simply because there's already resistance in place there; Saddam is part of a minority religious group in Iraq but he rules the whole country with complete power. But any attempts to do anything more than shell North Korea would be messier than the US would ever accept. We've become used to modern warfare. We bomb the shit out of a place, and then pay off the local tribes and resistance movements to help us take over. Any sort of WWII-style massive troop battle warfare has just become unacceptable. So in conclusion: The situation is hopeless and we'll all die sad and alone.
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Wednesday, October 16, 2002
 
I'm a winner! Well Saddam Hussein's government has outdone itself with this latest "election." It was always obvious that his little ballot box parade was a sham, but I love the lengths that dictators like him go to. It's like when Musharraf over in Pakistan wanted to have his reign reaffirmed; instead of just cheating a little, they created ridiculous turnout numbers and a 97.9% victory. Now that was silly, but Iraq's latest election is pure fucking fantasy. According to Iraqi election officials: With 100% turnout Saddam Hussein received 100% of the vote, and the election results were all calculated within a day by a country that probably couldn't organize a T-shirt giveaway, let alone a quick and accurate national election. What is the fucking point? Who is this propoganda aimed at? I have to assume that they're going after mental patients who currently are having severe reactions to some sort of cranial bleeding. Because those are the only people who, after several hours of discussion and beatings, might believe these election results.
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Grr. My blog wouldn't update the past few days. Something was broken. That's why you've had so little of my charm and wit lately. Things seem to be fixed, but I need to double check some stuff.
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Tuesday, October 15, 2002
 
Damn this stupid non-updating broken applet!
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Monday, October 14, 2002
 
Since her comments are down For once, it's Asparagirl's comments who are down and mine who are mighty and up, so I'll just comment on her news post here. It's the one about the attack on the Bali nightclub. She talked about some Aussies who are already taking the blame everyone but the terrorists approach. Frankly, I don't understand why it's not okay to get angry anymore. When did it become wrong to say "Let's get those fucking bastards!" This isn't a turn the other cheek situation; this is a burn the flesh off their cheeks with daisy cutter bombs situation. When a group kills hundreds of innocent people, this is not a time for deep analysis. Obviously, you have to think about the causes and sometimes a change is necessary, but that doesn't change the fact that you've got someone out there who killed 200 people. Discussion is good, but people bursting through windows to arrest murderous conspirators is good too. Especially when you're dealing with an enemy that is quite clearly not rational. Policy change may help stop future people from turning to terrorism, but it doesn't do anything to dissuade the crazy people already out there. I know I'm repeating sentiments stated after 9/11, but they apply here too. And now if we may just step back for a second: They blew up a nightclub in Bali ... to protest the support by a country the nightclub wasn't in of a country thousands of miles away. If I went outside and started shooting people to protest the treatment of whales in Japan, no one would stand around examining my cause and deciding how the government should change to better reflect my views. The phrase "then the terrorists have already won" has been driven into the ground, but to make a knee-jerk policy change in response to one violent act is the definition of letting the terrorists win.
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Fantastic This is a fantastically produced Lego interpretation of the not-yet-produced trailer for Star Wars: Episode III. It's in Quicktime and is about 14 megs. Right-click and save as. Unfortunately the site is getting hammered really really bad. My download speed changed from 40 KB/s to 1 KB/s several times. You may want to wait until the load lessens. I'll try to find a mirror site so you can download it without having to wait a million years.
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Fun-filled hobby I spent part of my weekend reading anti-semitic literature. All races were represented in this literature, but a particular focus was paid to Jews, probably because we fuck up these people's definitions of white blood. They don't feel the need to argue at length for the inferiority of blacks, Asians, and hispanics because they take it as a given. But with Jews they expound with lists and lists and lists of famous Jewish people. By the way, Rupert Murdoch? What? Several "Jew Watch" pages list him as Jewish, a few places list him as raised Jewish but actually a gentile, and everywhere else says he's Christian. I also don't exactly see how saying Steven Spielberg is Jewish demonstrates evil Jewish control of media. Damn that Spielberg for making us dislike Nazis with his films! And that film about the alien? Totally promoting homosexuality and the intermingling of the mud races! I was especially fond of their use of the term "white civil rights." Luckily for them, their server had "Lightning Fast Web Hosting that is 100% JEWISH Censorship FREE" Unluckily for them, as soon as anyone linked to their feeble web server from popular web forums, it crashed 50 times and they started sending out emails to every web forum on the planet claiming they were going to get the FBI involved. I know that it's probably a little silly to be picking apart the arguments of racists, but I was a little bored, and they're an easy target.
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How Western is that doggy in the Window? Arf! Arf! I can't believe this is a real article. You know that you've taken your religion too seriously when you're demanding the arrest of all dogs. Now my question is this. If Americans, also known as the Great Satan, are worthless dogs, then does that mean dogs would be called worthless Americans?
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Set your phasers to "FABULOUS!!!!!" I'm rather mixed about this. Seems that Paramount is going to put AIDS/HIV related storylines into episodes of several of their TV series, including Enterprise (the latest Star Trek series). It's a worthy cause, but I think that these episodes are all going to suck horribly. Captain: Kill that man! Lieutenant Reed: I can't sir! I love him ... even though he gave me syphilis! Besides, what is a show set hundreds of years in the future going to do about HIV/AIDS? I assume the plan is to have a similar disease with a different name, but no matter how they do it, I'm sure it'll feel weak. One problem is that, and please understand that I am not trying to say that AIDS and Homosexuality have to go together as topics, Star Trek has never had any gay characters. The original Star Trek went after social issues like race all the time, but now the shows are generally terrified of doing anything that is threatening to the 16-29 year-old male market. So if they had just had a gay recurring side character in one of the earlier series, it wouldn't be a big deal now. But because they've waited so long, anything they do with homosexuality is going to feel forced and done more to make up for the past. I hope that made some sense.
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Sunday, October 13, 2002
 
What, you expect me to make updates on the day of our Lord? A pox on thee!
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Saturday, October 12, 2002
 
From my tivo TV listings "The Order." Channel 24, USAP, 12:00 am to 2:00 am. Action and Adventure, Suspense (2001) Jean-Claude Van Damme, Charlton Heston, Ben Cross, Sofia Milos. Framed for murder, a man must find a sacred scroll in Jerusalem before it falls into the wrong hands. (CC, SAP) This has endless potential.
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Another hole in Scott's poorly produced characters Scott has always enjoyed speaking in a terrible feminine Southern accent and proclaiming to be Britney Spears's mother. At the center of this parody was the insinuation that her mother loved Britney and hated all her other children. Well, apparently all of the Spears children are equally pressured to succeed and fulfill their mother's own destroyed childhood dreams.
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Friday, October 11, 2002
 
This ad is great ... if you're already voting for Forrester Here's a new Republican New Jersey Senate Ad. Some Republicans are already calling it great, funny, and brilliant. That's because they're Republicans. It's certainly amusing, but the logic behind it is flawed. Let's analyze here. The ad says Lautenerg and Torricelli are giving kids the wrong messages. Now, that's stupid in and of itself. To claim that Torricelli dropping out of the Senate race is a bad message for children is just a failed attempt to try to make the ad substantive. Secondly, Forrester was demanding that Torricelli resign. So then Torricelli dropped out of the race, and suddenly he's angry about it? I mean, what the fuck? Make up your mind. If Torricelli had resigned his senate seat, the election would've been delayed and there'd be a new democratic candidate anyway.
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Wasn't gonna... I wasn't going to post this link until I noticed something. After you click the link, let your mouse linger over the image at the top of the article so that the "alt" text shows up. I just thought that was pretty funny; maybe you'll disagree.
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Wow It's always hard for me to imagine how any car accident could get so out of hand.
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Breaking News Those of you trying to order that Japanese sex doll designed to look like a twelve year old will be glad to know that the US Federal Court system is behind you getting behind that doll!
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Conflict: Desert Storm No, I'm not talking about the upcoming war with Iraq. I'm talking about a commercial I just saw for a videogame based on our last war with Iraq. The commercial is pretty horrible. It hides the fact that the game is set in the past and there is a lot of footage of a computer model of Saddam Hussein with a targeting recticle over his face. Apparently the game itself isn't even terrible, but its commercials are such a pathetic attempt to exploit the upcoming war that it's literally disgusting. Last time I checked, you couldn't measure someone's patriotism by what videogames they buy.
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Now I dun like it I think some people have just decided they don't like the West Wing anymore. Every Thursday I come to class and my Science and History classes are full of people discussing how great last night's episode was, but then there's always 4 or so people who used to watch but now can't stand the show. They don't really know why they don't like the show anymore; they just know they do. I'm not even saying that they're wrong. It's pretty normal to watch a show for a while and then just suddenly find yourself sick of some aspect of it. Afterall, I'm a little tired of Martin Sheen's president competing for sainthood with Mother Teresa. I hope the show does better because it's an unusually good piece of network TV.
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Thursday, October 10, 2002
 
FCC forgets their rubber stamp In an encouraging development, the FCC actually rejected a merger. I didn't like the idea of DirecTV and Dish Network merging. Yes, it would put greater pressure on cable companies, but I see no reason to make allow the satellite TV market to become a one-company affair. I also don't like the idea that the less successful company is buying the more successful company. Hughes, the owners of ummm, one of these two companies, have an odd place in my mind. I used to stare at these propoganda posters they donated to my school, so I developed an internal advertising campaign for them. Mostly it centered around a deep-voiced announcer saying horrible things. "Hughes! Atleast we admit that we kill baby seals." "Hughes! Bringing you flipper babies for more than 40 years!" I believe satelite TV has a strong future simply because my cable company hasn't given me a crisp, clear TV signal in a decade, whereas my dad's satelite beams down images so clear that seem like they're in the room with you.
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A true hero He died the way he lived ... hunched in front of a computer playing Starcraft.
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Proof that Marijuana usage is too widespread Here's a lovely little ditty about how SpongeBob SquarePants is not gay. SpongeBob is a phenomenon. And most surprisingly, has a very large number of adult viewers. You may ask why he has so many adult viewers, many of whom do not have children. Quite simply: Drug abuse. That's right, it's a show people watch while on drugs. It's about a sponge who wears pant and lives underwater in a pineapple. I find this seriously disappointing. Now I'm sure there's some adult humor in the show because weed-use alone does not great ratings make, but there have been so many better and smarter Nickelodeon cartoon shows of the past that had real, intelligent humor, but never got anywhere near this attention. Part of this is the Rugrats effect. Rugrats used to be enormously popular and it overshadowed anything else on the network. Then they made new episodes of that show and it was clearly terrible. I don't subscribe to the notion that I grew out of the show because I can still glance at the older episodes and see how clever they were. But there were shows like Rocko's Modern Life and The Angry Beavers, which while not brilliant by any stretch, had humor that was clearly aiming a lot higher than the 2-11 year old market that SpongeBob shoots for. But instead of getting any attention, those shows are considered obscure whereas SpongeBob is practically the new mascot of the Lesbian-Gay Alliance.
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Bill Simon. The worst candidate for governor in the history of California The choice come November for those of us in California is between two crooks. One a wishy-washy no-firm-stand Democrat, and one a conservative never-mention-any-personal-beliefs Republican. One schmuck and one idiot. Gray Davis actually called for Bill Simon to drop out of the Governor's race after Simon's ridiculous behavior in their debate. I didn't watch the debate. Hell, they did it while I was in school. I guess the local TV stations couldn't be pressed to preempt Opera reruns to show a gubenatorial debate. Anyway, Simon showed up and said he had proof that Gray Davis had taken an illegal campaign donation in his office back when he was Lt. Governor. Now, at face value, I thought this was likely to be true because Gray Davis is the type of politician who goes into bars and starts trying to suck quarters out of love tester machines for his campaign warchest. There's just one problem: The allegation was 100% false. The so-called proof was a picture of Davis accepting a check in an office, but that office looks nothing like the Lt. Governor's office. Also, on the date that this donation was supposedly receieved in Gray Davis's office, he was in another part of the state campaigning with Al Gore. And furthermore, the group that made the allegation, COPS (California Organization of Police and Sheriffs), has received 200,000 dollars from Bill Simon to endorse him and put his name on their newsletters. In a new low for this California Campaign, which has had nothing but low points, Bill Simon told the press that it wasn't his job to confirm allegations against Gray Davis, that was the press's job. Well then I guess it'd be okay for me to go on TV and tell people I have proof that Bill Simon is a fucking moron who likes to kill school children using sharpened hobo bones, and if that's not true, then it's the press's fault.
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Back Sorry for not posting much yesterday. I kind of slept most of the day after I got home from school and my time spent not sleeping was spent doing homework. The college situation is pretty terrible. Scott's Alma Mater, which accepted his worthless ass, is now off my list of colleges to apply to because last year they didn't accept anyone with a GPA below 4.10 from my school. 4.10 ... I mean, son of a bitch. I feel like I'm an underachiever and I've got a 3.93. I mean, looking at the numbers, it seems to me that a 3.93 is pretty fucking good, but all these colleges seem to feel that to accept someone with a grade below a 4 would be lowering themselves. The college numbers piss the hell out of me because I'm right at the level where all the big names stop accepting people. It's lonely being on the cusp.
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Wednesday, October 09, 2002
 
They just want to fuck children, that's all Well the Japanese are one step closer to just outright having sex with children in the streets. Before I give this link, please note that it won't render correctly because it's in a foreign language. And the pictures don't seem to load too quickly. I didn't look at every single pic, so I can't be sure there isn't any nudity, well, plastic nudity. That's right. It's an anime sex doll designed to look like a 12-year-old girl. Maybe this is what they do over there to forget about their stagnant economy. You can support the Japanese economy by buying the sex doll here. Once again: American Consumerism + Japanese Culture + 1950's occupation = Really Fucked up stuff.
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My long lost twin? Whoever made this review page seems to share the exact same thought process as me. Thanks to my friend Kevin for the link. I especially enjoyed when he called that 8-year-old a traitor.
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Tuesday, October 08, 2002
 
Old, but still funny Here's a bunch of Arnold Schwartzenegger (I don't care how it's spelled) Japanese commercials. Very very amusing, even if they've been on the web for years. In summary: The Japanese are messed up, and American celebrities are cash whores.
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I hate Miss America I absolutely hate the Miss America pageant. The Miss Universe pageant too. They're just so stupid. My complaint isn't even about sexism; they're just such stupid contests. They make no sense, and the organizers cling to 17th century Victorian values. Every year now we seem to go through 15 Miss America's because each one runs afoul of some arcane rule. I'm glad that the most recent pageant was the least viewed ever. It's such unintersting TV, and the contest is changed so frequently for ratings purposes that it can't claim to have any real rich tradition in American life. The show holds so little sway now that the only time the title of Miss America matters is 15 years after the contest ends and the former winner poses nude to get more anti-jiggle-breast-tape money. Here's hoping that the show drifts further and further into obscurity until finally reaching a level just below local tractor pulls in terms of national attention.
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Attention Jews: Commence Fucking Linky Please note that this instruction does not apply to Scott and Brooke who I'm told spend their nights making pottery. Also, I forbid them to have children because I don't want the mighty Ganz name to be tarnished by inferior gluten-free children.
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Duh The title of this article is: Farrakhan Critical of Bush on Iraq. ... Did the newspaper think that everyone's favorite anti-semitic Black Muslim activist leader was going to start cheering when Bush spoke?
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Monday, October 07, 2002
 
Lego! I've been disappointed in recent years that lego has lost its way, but here's somebody who's doing neat stuff with legos. And no, it's not the famous lego bible. Lego has had sales problems for many years. Part of their solution has been branding. So we've got Star Wars legos and Harry Potter legos and Jesse Jackie Rainbow Coalition legos. I don't have a huge problem with this, though most of these end up killing some aspect of the lego concept because all the sets are made up of weird special legos that have only one use and can't really be made into new lego creations. I loved legos as a kid. I've still got a cabinet full of dozens of them. However, just from looking at films of my brothers old legos, it's clear they went down hill. The problem is that they always need more sets for people to buy, so instead of just having a generic lego "space universe," they had to have a "Space Police" universe and then a "Space Miner" universe and about 150 more Space Something universes. So by the time I was buying legos, most of them were kind of silly and had elaborate back-stories. Then they sort of got tired of space and switched to underwater legos, then to martian legos, then to a weird period where they started obsessing with special lego adventure packs featuring little Indiana Jones rip-offs. In essence, they stopped making toys and started writing silly backstories for increasingly silly looking lego sets. Now they've taken this story over function angle to a new height with their new toy line, Bionicle. These new toys have about 4 pieces, so they can't really be built. They also have silly names like Mana'tau and a novel-length backstory featuring magic elemental forces and uniting against a great evil. It's all just a very stupid attempt to catch onto the Power Rangers craze that already left us all 6 years ago. My guess is that their next goal is to go after the poke'mon craze with some sort of collect'em all tiny lego toy. Sorry for boring you all, but the sad state of lego is very dear and near to my heart. I didn't cry when my grandfathers died, but by god if I didn't sob with rage when my cousin broke my first self-designed lego spaceship.
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The day the utility belt was empty According to this article, the pretty much de-facto leading man of ER, Noah Wyle, is probably set to leave the show. I have to wonder if the show could survive more than one season without him. He's become the leading man for the quite simple reason that every character around him has either died or moved on. The actor makes some good points in the article about how his character has become an unintersting utility character whose sole purpose is to serve the plots of others. Without him, the show has no real base. It just can't standup. And even if NBC and the producers manage to push through some seasons without him, they'll probably be aimless and lackluster in the ratings. All the other characters have always been just to the side of center, so to push one into the leading role would feel odd and innapropriate. Besides that, the list of people to push into that role is very thin, with most of the cast less than a few years old on the show. I imagine that without ER, CBS would take a decided lead in the ratings.
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Poodle Knockers I don't know how much I'll post today ... I know that everytime I say I'm not gonna post a lot, I do post a lot, but I posted a shitload of stuff during the weekend and I'm feeling pretty tired, so let's see what I do.
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Iraq Attaq! Bush's speech seemed pretty good to me ... but I only watched 3 minutes and I was really sleepy at the time. There was something in there about Al Qaeda that didn't make sense, but the core idea that we should get Iraq before they get nukes seemed fine. My main problem is with the basic assumption of all the recent American Presidents. I don't like this "decide who to go to war with" and then make a 10-minute address justifying it. Ten minutes of broadcasting does not an informed public make.
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It's like Pac-Man, but with a gritty crime drama I'm sure this new game is shooting right up the charts. Law and Order: The Video Game You can't make stuff like this up.
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Sunday, October 06, 2002
 
Quickie The TV show Boomtown is shown in letterbox. NBC has a big logo with the words BOOMTOWN in the corner. Why didn't they just put it in one of the black boxes that are part of the letterbox effect?
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No shit, Sherlock C|NET News.com has been producing the same fucking article over and over again every week-and-a-half for years. Here's a summary of every fucking one of these articles:
  1. Linux is not as widespread in use as Windows.
  2. Linux is not going to replace Windows on the desktop soon BUT here's blah blah reason why it's future is bright.
  3. Linux is open-source and Windows is not
That's it! It's an article explaining the same 3 things over and over and over and over again every week. It's not fucking news. And it's so god damned obvious that almost everyone must understand it by now. And C|NET isn't alone in this. Dozens of other sites do the same fucking thing, leading to about 15 "Future of Linux is mixed but positive" articles a week. I'm convinced there have been more of these articles throughout the history of the internet than actual users of the Linux operating system.

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Where's the blood I was flipping around the tube today, a particularly nasty TV day because it's both a Sunday and a day filled with sporting events. I landed on cartoon network for a bit. They had some new action shows with Superman and whatnot. I found them pretty bad. My main issue is that no one dies. Oil rig explodes; everyone's fine. Bank robbery with dozens of bullets flying back and forth; everyone's fine. Giant earthquake rips city in half; everyone's fine. Building explodes; everyone's fine. It's just pathetic. Kill someone! They're not even running the show early in the day, so they should be able to atleast have people get hurt without destroying the fragile minds of children everywhere. It's annoying to see cartoons try to be topical or mildly realistic when they still won't accept the fact that bad things happen. Hell, even when someone goes to the hospital and is supposedly injured, there's not a scratch on them. Hell, how about atleast a bandage with some blood on it! What? Are they just wrapping these people up in bandages because they have to use up the white bandages before labor day?
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Grr I'm in a very very very long line for a download so I can't reboot my computer or I'll lose my place. The problem is that last night my IE6 went kind of crazy. It works fine for most stuff, but this is the only time I've ever seen error messages even close to these. Sometimes the "Find (on this Page)" feature freaks out. Othertimes it'll freak out just loading a page. I know a simple reboot would fix it but I have to keep my computer on for like 2 more days to download the file I want.
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Bin Laden Mortuaries: Look your finest before meeting those 70 virgins! I'm more and more convinced with every new tape that Osama Bin Laden is dead. He might not be dead, but if he isn't, I'm betting he's a dying bed-ridden wreck. I simply don't buy this ridiculous argument that he's not revealing himself because his arm hurts and he doesn't want to look weak. If this guy had breath moving between his lips, I know he'd be making videos and shipping them all over. However great a motivator being a martyr is, it's ridiculous to believe that he would just sit around and let the Muslim world eventually assume he's dead. It'd be much more impressive to have a new video so he could spit in the US's face and say "Ha! The Great Satan couldn't get me after destroying a whole country!" And it can't be for want of video equipment; Al Qaeda makes more films than Paramount. Hell, judging by the weird semi-professional look of most of their stuff, I'm starting to think they use Adelphia Communications Media Services for all their videos. Now if I see a fern in the corner of one of their next films, I'll know I'm right.
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Girls Gone Big Screen I've heard of a lot of really pathetic things to base a movie off of ... but GIRLS GONE WILD! That's like basing a film off of a Sports Bloopers tape. For those not in the know, Girls Gone Wild is an endlessly marketed porn video here in the US. Unlike most stuff of that nature which would never really be advertised on major cable channels, Girls Gone Wild had such a successful premise, namely paying guys on spring break to film drunken women revealing their breasteses, that the folks behind it have the money to advertise on channels like Comedy Central. The whole thing is a testament to the evils of mixing alcohol and young people. Apparently, the justification for making this is ... now get this: It has the potential for a series of films. That's right. Just as with the new Warner Bros. Superman movie, the point is not to make a good new film, it's to make a film that can lead to 10 more films. Hollywood is so stupid that they can't understand the difference between Star Wars/Lord of the Rings being trilogies and Jaws 1-4. You see, one is trying to convey a story that requires several movies; the other is just a string of sequels that get less and less successful. People are not INTO trilogies right now; there are just some good movies out there that happen to be parts of trilogies. I don't even understand why they had to pay for the Girls Gone Wild license. They're making a film about college co-eds who find love and whatnot on Spring Break. Now ignoring for a second that such a plot has virtually no need at all for a series of several films, why would such a thing have to center on Girls Gone Wild? It's idiotic thinking. I mean, the Girls Gone Wild demographic, 45-year-old janitors named Michel, is the only one for whom the name "Girls Gone Wild" has any appeal, so by designing the movie to be a chick flick, they kill the whole point of grabbing the license. Truly frightening.
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Saturday, October 05, 2002
 
Son of Zork Yes, I know all those text adventure games were supposed to be marvels of greatness, and they were for their day, but that doesn't change the fact that you were typing "s" then "look" then "grab key" then "use key on door" for 90% of the time. The other 10% were spent reading this "I don't know how to 'rape eye holes' Please use a different command." Well here's a modern graphical adventure game made in shockwave/flash/who-cares. It keeps a rough outline of your progress in a cookie so you can come back to it. It's really very neat. Some of the puzzles can be frustrating though.
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GoogleFight I think this site is a lot of fun. It's probably old news to many, but it's new to me. For instance, the age-old question of Jews vs. Muslims can be solved with one web form.
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Microsoft thinks they have a talkshow Okay, that was officialy one of the more fucked up things I've seen in a while. TechTV, a rarely-viewed cable channel, had a Microsoft-produced special on today call "Microsoft Insider Live!" Now I flipped to it because I thought it would be some neat product demonstrations. There was an excited announcer voice ... there was a jazz band ... the set was made to look hip and edgy (aka brick walls with grafitti and projected logos) ... there were two hosts ... there were three fat "power users" in a fake cyber cafe there to demonstrate things. Instead of showing pocket PCs and Tablet PCs in action, most of the show was video reels of clips of fake users being excited with a developer in front a bluescreen explaining how Microsoft's newest initiative would cure cancer. I expected an extremely biased product demonstration ala The Home Shopping Network, not a bunch of propoganda and catchphrases. Of course, I could be wrong, since one of the programmers did end his segment by saying "This technology Rocks!"
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California Livin' There are a few stereotypes about California that are very true. No, we don't all surf, and no, we don't all hang out with movie stars. But when it comes to Sandals... From my casual glance, it appears that something in the area of 50% (or more) of all the students at my school wear sandals. With girls the numbers are like 95%. Frankly, I don't like it. Perhaps it's just me, but I don't like the idea of forcing your feet on everyone in the vicinity. Also, the rise of sandals has contributed greatly to the decline of my dearest friend, the sock. Socks are great. They keep my feet warm and they keep my feet from stinking bad. Anytime you find someone with really nasty feet stank, you can be pretty sure that they wear sneakers without socks. Now no one wears socks with Sandals because it looks stupid, and this is despite the fact that the mornings in Los Angeles can actually be quite nippy at this time of year. This encourages a "sockless" attitude. Socks are now scorned. More people now wear shoes without socks. Sometimes they wear shoes with tiny socks that can't really be seen above the heel. I guess that's okay, but I like the warm sense of security that only the meeting of pantleg-bottom and sock can provide; this allows me to all but eliminate even the chance that someone might see any part of my unnattractively swarthy legs. Sandals also present a double-standard in our society that has only been equaled in its outrageousness by the treatment of black school children in the South during the 1950s. People with sandals can take them off whenever they want in class, but if you did that with your regular shoes in class, everyone would look at you weird and you'd be yelled at. WHERE IS JESSE JACKSON?!? I guess even he's too scared of the powerful birkenstock lobby. Where's my million man march? I'll tell you where it is. It's over at Skechers buying the new Heatwave foot thongs. Now it can't march; imagine the racket of all those millions of guys with ill-adjusted sandals flapping up and down as they strode down the capitol. The death-toll would be in the thousands. Sandals just aren't practical also. Most of the people at school are good at walking with them, but when I see a girl tripping up over her sandals, all I can think about is how we were told in history class that it was a great liberation when women were no longer forced to wear giant constraining dresses that limited their mobility; they're now doing the same thing to themselves but in the name of exposed toes. Also, I have to conclude that in the event of a school disaster such as a shooting or fire, more people would be killed as they fell to the ground trying to run with sandals than by the actual disaster itself. Frankly, I've never understood toe-nail painting, and without sandals, I'm convinced the practice would be greatly reduced. Though I think it's a bit of a chicken-and-the-egg thing. Girls wear sandals to show off their painted nails and girls paint their nails to huff on the fumes. Well, I guess that's not chicken and the egg; it's more chicken and the industrial paint removers.
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Thanks for forcing me to steal, dickweeds I just found out that fox affiliates in the east got to see Firefly at 4 PM (I don't know how many affiliates did this). Why the hell couldn't Fox do this here in the West? I mean, did they really think the baseball game was gonna run on schedule and end exactly at 8 PM? So now I'll end up with either one of two scenarios:
  1. Fox will be their usual fuckhead selves and pretend they've aired the episode for everyone. They move on with the next episode (which will also be preempted), resulting in my missing the entire fucking plot of the opening 5 episodes of Firefly.
  2. Fox makes the West Coast linger 2 weeks behind everyone else. I doubt this will happen, but during the 7th Season of DS9, everyone in the West had to watch the show a week late because of sports delays. They eventually fixed things with a special double-header of 2 episodes in one night, but for a while there it was impossible to discuss the show online because the plot would be ruined for you.
I think I'm left with only one option: Common thievery. I'm gonna download the episode from IRC. It'll take a long time because there are a lot of other thieves who think the same way I do, but it'll be worth it in the end. Hell, even with the small resolution, a lot of these online DIVX or MPEG4 versions look better than my shitty Adelphia Cable Service.

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Blockbuster Blockbuster: Proving that a major company can run their stores under the principles of pure anarchy. I went to rent some things there today. It was a real mess. The store was packed to the gills, and nothing but the new releases were available. Things were knocked around, the sections didn't make sense. The switch to DVD has apparently fucked them up pretty bad. Now they have to devote a third of their store to dvds, part of their store to their expanding videogame section, all the while having the same number of VHS tapes but now in half the space. Also, with so little shelf space, the current sections are in bad shape. The classic movies section is gone. The VHS section now contains many rows with films in random order and placed with the spine to the public view as opposed to the front of the box. And the walls have big empty patches where they've yet to put up some new release. It's all very confused, poorly managed, and inefficient: Basically it's Communism but with copies of Illicit Lawyers III spread all over the floor. Why is The Nightmare Before Christmas in a section labeled "Kids" in the VHS section, but in a section labeled "Family" in the dvd section? And why do they keep 3 copies of each "Jack Frost" film (not to be confused with the Russo-Finnish Jack Frost or the Michael Keaton Jack Frost. This is the murderous snowman Jack Frost), but only one copy of The Nightmare Before Christmas? I tried to rent a videogame; I grabbed the box from the right section, but when I got home, I realized the box had been shelved in the wrong section, so I had rented a version of the game for a system I don't own. So now I have to deal with them tommorow, while also trying to write my college essays. edit: Wait, how can it be anarchy and communism at the same time? Damn those commies! They're ahead of us even in theories of government!
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Friday, October 04, 2002
 
And another thing Tonight's sports game was quite rousing but it reminded me of something. People and the news media are really fluid with this whole concept of "home-town team." Like when the New England Patriots won the superbowl, David Letterman introduced them to his New York audience as "Your New England Patriots!" Funny, I seem to remember some team called the NY Giants. Now let's pretend for a second that the Lakers suddenly were terrible and the Clippers won the world championship. All of a sudden all the news companies here would be calling the Clippers LA's team. It's all pretty phony. Note: This post was started at 8:30 PM and finished at 11:51 PM due to my evil sister.
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Damn ye, Rupert Murdoch! May raining hellfire fall upon the studios of the fox network, or so it is written in the Book of Rage! I'm really annoyed that fox is willing to put so much original content on right after baseball games. This means that everything is always preempted when the baseball games run long. Tonight I was really interested in seeing Firefly and John Doe because the third and fourth episodes of a series can be really important in telling you whether the formula works and if the show can be consistent. Fox has done this before and they don't seem to care. Whole seasons of Futurama were preempted because of its miserable timeslot and fox's football scheduling. All I ask is that they move the shows so I can actually watch them. edit: What really makes it bad is the way they treat the situation. They pretend that everyone got to see the shows, even though no one in the country could. When the game ends, they just jump right into the middle or last 15 minutes of a TV show and act as if that's the same as showing the whole thing. God forbid they should cut 15 minutes from their terrible nightly news show to present the full episode. How can fox claim that they're trying to grow their programming library when they bitchslap their own new shows like this? If the show isn't goint to start on time, they need to stop airing pieces or pretending it aired all the way. I'd rather wait until the timeslot was open and I could see all the episodes in their correct order than watch 15 minute chunks of fox shows in between baseball highlights.
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