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Friday, January 31, 2003
 
Best. Engrish. Ever! Wow. This page is so great. You absolutely must visit this website, though I hope you aren't drinking milk as you wade through it. As I'm sure you've heard, a lot of American movies are stolen and sold as 5 dollar dvds in Asia almost as soon as they are released. Well, let's just say you get what you pay for. The page I linked to shows the english subtitles of a bootleg asian copy of The Two Towers. Here are two gems: This is a mistranslation of "Gimli: Bring your pretty face to my axe." This is a mistranslation of "Èomer: Too long have you watched my sister, too long have you haunted her steps." There are literally dozens more great, hilarious examples. "No body should have pretty the child." Truer words have never been spoken. edit: There's always the chance this is fake. Afterall, these don't look like subtites, but they're still hilarious.
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Wednesday, January 29, 2003
 
The world forgets Just heard quite a few news groups (okay, The Daily Show) talking about how surprised they were by Bush mentioning Hydrogen cars in his State of the Union. Some thought this might be some big change in policy. What they all don't seem to remember is that a week and a half before the State of the Union, CNBC made a special report about the efforts of certain lobbyist groups to get their pet projects mentioned in the speech. Some chemical company or what-have-you was at the top of the list because they were donors and wanted hydrogen front and center in the speech. So then Bush mentions hydrogen in the speech a week later and it's like CNBC's report never happened. How can all these commentators be surprised by something that was literally a bullet-point on channel 33 less than two weeks before it happened.
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Shut up I am so damned sick of this Google-Opoly bullshit. Yes, Google is enormously popular. Yes, many people use google for everything from figuring out where to buy shoes to finding pictures of Anna Nicole Smith before she weighed a metric ton. No, it's not some sort of fucking public utility that needs to be regulated. For god's sake, we don't even regulate energy lines in the United States anymore and that's about as basic a utility as water. Repeat after me. Google is a PRIVATE COMPANY. Their website is not public property. If they want to replace the first search result of every page with a giant dancing naked picture of Barbara Streisand, then that's their bloody right. If they want to have gigantic flash films on the main page that emit high-pitch screams from your speakers and display collages of group Nazi chanting intermixed with bright swirling colors, it's their god damned page and they can do it. The argument that makes the least sense to me is this concept that google is somehow limiting access to some sites unfairly. Besides the fact that this ignores the thousands of sites that might have never received appropriate recognition for their pages before Google's evil algorithm bumped them to the head of the search line, the argument is false even ignoring the positive effects Google has had on the web. Afterall, we don't claim that major magazines are limiting free speech because they give links to their partners' websites instead of to your friendly neighborhood blogger. If you don't like the way google is handling something, then don't use it. This isn't air, or water, or electricity; this is a search engine. There are hundreds of them on the web, and most will give you the same results for simple inquiries. Just because google does it the best doesn't mean they owe something to the public at large or your personal website.
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State of the Union I actually hadn't quite planned to respond to the State of the Union, but Scott did, and I feel the need to one-up him whenever possible. I, frankly, didn't watch much of the State of the Union or the Democratic response. All they really did was underscore what I already know; the Democrats have become cowards and Bush is driving the stake even further through their hearts. I heard a Republican the other day say that Clinton had killed the Democrats by making them attack the man, not the issue. In a way, he was half-right. Terry McAuliffe is the epitome of everything wrong with the Democratic party today. Clinton taught the Democrats the media strategies required to win the White House, but modern Democrats have became so obsessed with the strategy element that they forgot that Clinton actually put out ideas and specific plans. Yeah, most of them were cut to shreds and left the Republican congress barely resembling their former selves, but he still always made sure he was taking the initiatve and putting forth a bold image. Scott said we need to see whether Bush comes through on any of the middle-of-the-road issues he spotlighted in his State of the Union, but that doesn't matter. Karl Rove and everyone else running the Bush whitehouse are absolutely dominating politics in America right now. They're bold as hell and the American people respect that. Bush ran around the country saying give me a Republican congress and I'll do this and this and this, and people responded. The Democrats ran around the country saying "We're for working class people and protecting jobs!" Bush doesn't have to come through on half the shit he talks about because all he needs to do is direct the debate to topics of his choosing, and he does that with ludicrously bold plans and specifics. Granted, it would be wrong to hold a pre-written Democratic "response" to the same standards as the State of the Union, since they couldn't possibly know every program he's going to propose, but the Democrats seem so unwilling to be bold about anything. Bush is wrong about most issues in my opinion, but he's also (once again I use the word) bold and not afraid to shove very specific plans in front of the American people because he knows the Democrats will respond with populist vaguery.
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Tuesday, January 28, 2003
 
Match-dot-morons There are a bunch of new commercials out there for Match.com (and no, I won't go through the effort of making a real link to them). These commercials are despicably stupid. They're the sort of non-sensical trite bullshit I haven't really seen since the golden age of the dot-coms. It's the type of advertising that's more obsessed with branding a name than actually conveying a message about the service. If you see any of these commercials, ask yourself for a moment if you think any effort was actually put into these scripts. I'm not asking for bloody shakespeare here, but the ads don't even make sense. They're just people jumping up and yelling "Match.com helped me find my new boyfriend!" and everyone around them acts like this realization is some sort of amazing, shameful discovery that deserves the attention of every waking person in a 200-mile radius. Sadly, they'll work just the same. One of the few remaining profitable web businesses out there is the matchmaking industry. Hell, you can't visit a single page on the MSN network without being inundated with opportunities to spice up your love life using only broccoli and Microsoft's exciting new Matchmaker XP date delivery system!
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Jimmy Kimmel shouldn't live (pun-tastic!) I have no idea what it is that ABC has against scripted comedy. As my brother, Scott "Trustfund" Ganz can tell you, our father has made tidy sums of money because of scripted comedy. So why is it that they're killing the Jimmy Kimmel show with this Live bullshit? The first episode was largely a train-wreck, Arsenio-style, but you can still tell from it that Jimmy Kimmel is a funny guy. Now I assumed the first episode was a superbowl fluke because all the jokes in the show were clearly written that same day. But now I'm watching the second episode and all the humor is still just Jimmy yammering. The only scripted humor they've had so far was extremely weak, and every joke seems to be taken from things they noticed in that day's newspaper. Sure, occasionly funny things happen, such as the discussion of tv censorship on the first episode, but the show just feels so thrown together. It's really surprising. Whatever you might say about the intentionally offensive The Man Show, nearly everything on the show was atleast written well in advance and planned out. Jimmy Kimmel live, however, seems like it belongs more on a local college tv station than on a major network.
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Monday, January 27, 2003
 
He came from the East... I was thinking after I made that picture of Jesus fighting Moses. What would Jesus's catch-phrase be if he was an action star. Well, here's my result:
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Damn you C-Span! Everyday now I'll be flipping through the channels and I suddenly stop, thinking I've seen my Congressman, Henry Waxman. And every fucking time it's not my congressman, it's this Mohamed guy who's in charge of the International Atomic Energy Agency. Without looking at where each image is from, try to guess which is which.
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Sunday, January 26, 2003
 
Statistics According to SiteMeter.com, no one visits this webpage.
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The age old question It's a question that has boggled minds for 56,000 years. Who would win in a fight? Moses or Jesus. I've weighed in on this quandry the only way I know how: Click Here. It's a new Genre: MMORRPG Massively Multiplayer Online Religious Role-Plaing Game.
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Saturday, January 25, 2003
 
Go, Bush, go! Thanks to ole President Bush's mindless determination to get us into this Iraq war as quickly as possible, I'm laughing all the way to the bank. Unlike Scott, I love to be known as "Trust Fund" Ganz, even if the title is a misnomer because no such Trust Fund exists. Anyway, my stock holdings include a little company called Raytheon. Do they make cookies? No. Do they make toys? No. Do they make computer hardware? No. They make stinger missiles and other weapons of mass destruction. And so with Drudge reporting that the Defense Department may be planning to launch 500 cruise missiles in a massive two-day barrage to kick-off this war, which might make sense since I think Bush is going to be very sensitive about keeping casualties low, Raytheon's stock is climbing and they're predicting double the profit they expected for the quarter. And so in conclusion, Go Bush Go!
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End of the world? No, just a marketing stunt Yeah, that's right. National Geographic is going to have a Swimsuit Issue. They claim it's "historical." Oh well, I've found it very hard to muster up any outraged indignation over this sort of thing ever since I saw my mother and sister's women's magazines. Most women's magazines today have more human skin in them than Hannibal Lecter. It's no wonder men think all women are secretly lesbians if this is what women supposedly read all day. P.S. Since I was using CNN's bandwidth to host that picture, I thought I might as well relate a funny story. Back after 9/11, a very popular internet web forum I visit had an interesting post. You see, one of the guy's there was literally the first person on this earth to see that silly devil-face in the explosion video (the devil in the world trade center explosion is now on every nutcase religious damnation site on the web). So he points this out, hosts the image, and everyone remarks that this is pretty odd. Now the story should've ended there, but CNN, through the magic that is the interweb, discovered the post and deemed this blurry screenshot of their own videostream newsworthy, even though the whole fucking world was exploding in turmoil and fear at the time. However, when they made the story, they didn't host the image themselves. They simply posted the image being hosted by the guy at the web forum. He was of course quite a bit peeved when he noticed his web server was being hit 4 million times, so he switched the image ... to a picture of a gaping elderly man's anus. Well, CNN changed the picture, though not before 200,000 or so visitors got an eyefull of ole brown-eye. The story always brings a smile to my face; atleast before the vomit hits the roof of my mouth.
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Friday, January 24, 2003
 
Some day I'll get over the disappointment I watched a shitty late-night made-for-TV horror movie last night ... and it wasn't very good. I was so disappointed. I'm sure you must be thinking to yourselves, "What the hell did he expect from a movie showing at 2 AM?" And I suppose you'll be even more incredulous that I could've had high expectations for the film when you hear that the title was She Creature. You see, I cannot study without something to distract me. I'm actually more distracted when I'm focused on studying something because when left unchecked, my mind runs away, and the next thing you know, an hour has passed and I've done nothing but fantasized about Kobe Bryant (ehem, these fantasies involve him making 30 three-pointers in a row, not servicing me sexually). And so I turned to televsion last night when I needed to study for my Advanced Placement Environmental Science midterm. When I began watching the movie, it was already a ways into it, and I initially thought it was an Outer Limits-esque short scifi production. I wasn't expecting much, which is why I was so delighted early on when the plot was interesting and made sense. It revolved around a mermaid and some european carnies trying to transport her across the Atlantic to America for big bucks Barnum and Bailey style. Of course, deaths and intrigue ensue. I was encouraged early on when there seemed to be little visible violence and little nudity, since these things are the hallmark of shitty films rushed out to make a buck. Also, I had never heard of a mermaid eating people and having psychic powers, and there were some interesting insinuations about whether our protoganist was pregnant and what happened to the mermaid's previous owners. And so it was with all this potential that I became mildly invested in the film. I thought that I had found a hidden..., well, not a gem, but at the very least a marble in a pile of overly pornographic and violent rocks. It was then that the movie hit a wall. It just stalled out. And then the giant fish monsters showed up and started slashing everyone's throats. Yeah, turns out the mermaids were actually big fucking monsters that looked like the sort of thing you'd crap out after eating poorly-regulated seafood in South America. The special effects actually were pretty good, but I was annoyed by how the once promising storylines of the film had all converged into a bunch of scenes of men shooting at fish monsters and then having their faces slashed off. Things became rather non-sensical. Apparently the mermaid was their queen or something and she lured men to this island so she could feed them to her babies. And our protoganist is allowed to survive and, without any explanation of how, is discovered by a crew of a US warship two weeks later. The timeline of the story got more confusing here because the whole time they'd been traveling on a ship that looked like it belonged in a 16th century pirate attack, and then we've got these US naval officers wearing clothes that looked like they would belong just before World War I. And so we get some narration, and, BIG SURPRISE, we see her daughter years later do this thing with her eyes that lets us know she's an evil mermaid thing too. Woopdee fucking doo! Real great ending there. Really clever the way everything degenerated into a monster slasher film complete with a surprise ending that could only have been surprising to people suffering from alzheimer's. What was most stunning about the film was that virtually any better ending you can imagine (they let the mermaid go back into the sea, the protoganist becomes a mermaid, the mermaid is killed, etc...) would've cost far less money than the big-ass fish monsters did. Damn you, latenight TV; god damned you to hell!
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Thursday, January 23, 2003
 
Saddameter, more like Delusionator Forgive the shitty title; it's hard to rhyme with Saddameter. Anyway, for a long while I've been looking at The Slate's Saddameter, but the more I think about it, the more preposterous the damned thing is. We're going to war with Iraq. This has never been in doubt. It hasn't been in doubt since Bush v. Gore in 2000. It's going to happen; it's just a matter of the marching. All this discussion of if we should go to war with Iraq forgets that no matter what the arguments, it's definitely going to happen. That's why I think this Saddameter is a joke. It's supposed to project the chances of war with Iraq, and they of course started at 50% and then have gradually increased the numbers over time, so that when we all look back a year from now, we'll say, "Wow, look at how the Saddameter grew and grew until we finally attacked. It must've been so accurate!" PS: Bush better hurry up because my spot on the war pool, February 7th, is closing in fast.
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Ugg This freakishly disturbing story kills a bit of the goodwill I've had toward Denmark. I've always remembered that Denmark was pretty much the only European state that tried to resist the holocaust, so I'll give them the benefit of the doubt in this case and just assume that their liberal drug policies were responsible for this story.
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Dear world Here are some offensive and needlessly violent comments: Anyone who uses the slang term "hella" as an adjective modifier should be forced to fight wolves in an arena for my amusement. Anyone who uses the term "twist" to describe betrayal needs to be shot. For instance: "I couldn't believe it. My fucking friend forgot to call me when I told him to, so I was like, 'What the fuck, man!? What's with the twist? Biggest fucking twist of the year! I thought you were my friend.'" For those that doubt me, that example of the word twist is in fact taken from a real life conversation and was not created by me.
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Tuesday, January 21, 2003
 
Synergy and racial epithets Scott came over yesterday. And I have to say, he made some good points about how the capitalist machine is oiled by the blood of the working man. I grew suspicious, however, when he couldn't remember the names of the pets and when I noticed that he was now 5' 4" and kept eying the dogs hungrily. I might've continued my questioning to discover if he was in fact the Real Scott Ganz (not to be confused with the real Don Steele), but I was so happy to be taller than him that it really took the edge off and I think we've finally bonded. We finished eating the dog and then I agreed to look at some pamphlets he left. PS: I apologize for the racial stereotypes, but how often is it that you really get to make a good Korean dogmeat joke?
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Jeebus H. Crackers! Scott's a big fan of late-night religious television. He says he's particularly enthralled by the guys who break things with the power of Jesus. Well I was flipping through the channels tonight and hit a very creepy sort of variety showcase. They had two intellectuals gabbing about god: Mr. T and Gary Busey. I have to say, Gary Busey freaks me the fuck out. He was talking about how the power of Jesus can help you in every part of your life, but he said everything in such a frightening way that aethiests should circulate tapes of his interview to gain more converts. Click this if you're not faint of heart
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Monday, January 20, 2003
 
Ugg Here's a middle-aged chap suing the Fox show American Idol for age discrimination. What a fucking joke. If he wants to sue the group responsible for this "discrimination," don't look at fox; look at the public at-large. We don't want people over 50 dressed like Britney Spears and gyrating around. Sex sells, and no one wants to think of someone their parents age having sex. PS: Don't expect to change the minds of the American public about this sort of thing; for fuck's sake, Kangaroo Jack was the biggest movie of the weekend, taking in 17 million.
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Sunday, January 19, 2003
 
How dare he From CNN's front-page: "Bush fires ravage Australian capital" Damn, apparently Bush isn't content to attack Iraq. He has to set Australia's capital on fire.
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Saturday, January 18, 2003
 
Former Yugo We have a new contender for greatest website ever. Please keep in mind that you need to have your sound on to appreciate the beauty of this site.
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Thursday, January 16, 2003
 
Burning my mind's eye I already spoke earlier about how images of certain actors or characters from childhood cause me endless problems. For instance, Scott's lecherous eyeing of Melissa Joan Hart disturbed me to no end. I knew her as Clarissa from the old Nickelodeon show. I just wanted to scream, "Put some clothes on! You're only 16!" And then of course there's the guy who played big Pete in Pete & Pete (by the way, perhaps the only show from my childhood that holds up well under scrutiny). I was quite disturbed to find him playing a vicious murderer in an episode of Law & Order. I mention all this because today I saw the guy who played Clarissa's loving if strange architect father playing an accused child molester in E.R.. Still, I suppose that's better than the guy who played Mr. Rooney in Ferris Bueler's Day Off because he wasn't just pretending to be a child molester.
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Are you for or against evil? This Washington Times article does a lovely job of regurgitating a pro-life press release without actually analyzing anything. The article refers to a new poll "that pro-life groups say shows public opinion is swinging their way on the abortion issue." However, the only thing worse than the wording and interpretation of this poll by the pro-life group is the Washington Times' failure to examine it. Here's a little quote action for y'all: Some 1,000 adults were asked whether, in light of medical advances that reveal the unborn child's body and facial features in detail, "are you in favor of restoring legal protection for unborn children?" Sixty-eight percent of the randomly surveyed adults said they were in favor of legal protection. Oh wow! I guess 68% of Americans are now against abortion in all cases! For fuck's sake, this poll was precisely worded to ensure no one the poll spoke to had a fucking clue what they were talking about. First it starts off with the push statement, "medical advances [...] reveal the unborn child's body and facial features in detail," as if the new litmus test for when abortion is and isn't acceptable is if we can see an outline of the fetus's nose in a monitor. And then they run away from using the term abortion (because god forbid someone who responded to the poll actually knew what they were being asked), and instead they use very vague and hard to fight terminology. Are you in favor of legal protections for unborn babies? I bet a lot of people read that and thought this was an issue of protecting children from abuse (for instance, some state laws that add an extra crime when you abuse drugs while pregnant). There has been no major swing in the last year with regards to abortion, and a couple of pro-life groups releasing a study and praying real hard that people change their minds isn't going to do jack squat:
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Wednesday, January 15, 2003
 
Somalia is hilarious Here's a brilliantly funny article about one man and his goat in Somalia.
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Scotus loves the Mouse Today, as expected, the Supreme Court ruled that Congress can continue to extend copyrights indefinitely. Legally, the decision makes a lot of sense to me because I don't see how you can claim this is out of Congress's authority. However, just because I think Congress can keep extending these copyrights forever, doesn't mean I think they should. I appreciate that Disney wants to avoid Mickey Mouse porno films and that publishers want to keep raking in money from 80 year-old classic novels, but I think Congress is missing the reason we have copyright laws to begin with. These laws are here to protect and encourage innovation. In the past, the passage of several major copyrights into the public domain was followed by rapid invention and improvements. What really bothers me is that Congress probably will keep pushing these copyrights back forever. The allure of big campaign money is too much to resist. And so my brilliant Mickey Mouse Porno script, Mickey's New Mouse Hole, will have to remain untouched for another few decades. edit: I had to write this whole damned post again because Blogger crapped out on me.
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THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS! Someone pointed out to me this comically-biased BBC interview of Weapons Inspector Hans Blix, in which the BBC correspondent does everything short of stripping Blix naked and whipping him to try to get the desired response. The desired response by the way is that the inspections are nothing but a US-led sham. Blix is somewhat evasive, but I think he's doing all he can to salvage an interview clearly designed to make him spit on the United States and Tony Blair. Frankly, I expected better from the BBC. Just to hammer home the reference 5 imaginary dollars to the first commenter who spots the reference.
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58%, he'll be a push-over! I don't think Democrats should see Bush's 58% approval rating as some sort of great victory for them (it's below 60 for the first time since 9/11). Mark my words, come February or March (hopefully February 7th so that I win the war-pool), we'll start a war with Iraq, the rally-round the flag effect will reignite, and Bush will be back in the 70's. Also, people seem pretty bored with this whole stagnant economy thing, and I think the issue has lost so much focus that no one's going to give a shit what legislation is passed with regards to tax cuts unless the democrats pull off some sort of brilliant marketing scheme
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Sunday, January 12, 2003
 
Victory dance Steve Case has finally bowed to the endless pressure I placed on him and has resigned from AOL. Finally my will is respected!
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Saturday, January 11, 2003
 
Funny, then sad At first I watched this movie (1 meg) and it was funny. Then I rewatched it and realized the guy involved probably has parkinsons and now it's sad.
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Anyone else wanna translate this for me Taken, unedited, from the Drudge Report:
SEAN PENN: IRAQ NOT POLITICAL IS HUMAN!
Let me be the first to say ... what?

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Friday, January 10, 2003
 
Demmy-crats I copied and pasted this from a conversation I was having in a web forum online: Lieberman couldn't win a southern state without becoming a born-again christian. Once again we see that perhaps the South didn't really lose the Civil War. Here's what I think. I don't think Kerry has much of a chance of winning election without Bush screwing up, but I also think that Edwards is a little too new and weak to get the nomination. If I was Kerry, I'd indirectly float the notion, whether Edwards wanted me to or not, that I would choose Edwards as my VP candidate. That'd be just the reassurance that less liberal people in the primaries might need to pick Kerry.
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Ran out I suddenly ran out of things to say. I need to wait for inspiration to hit me. The only issue I can even think to mention is North Korea. North Korea seems to me to be like an angry child. They so want to force daddy and mommy (the US and S. Korea) to pay attention to them that they've started throwing their shoes against the wall and are eating crayons by the box. Bush is doing a remarkable, if somewbat irresponsible, job of sticking his fingers in his ears and pretending he can't hear them. For god's sake, we've essentially put the state of New Mexico in charge of our dealings with N. Korea.
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Tuesday, January 07, 2003
 
"Freedom," I screamed! Today I was trapped for 3 hours. I was covered with sweat, and felt my very life slipping away from me. Where was I trapped, you ask? Was it in the harrowing labrynth of Doctor Suarez's European diamond mine? No. Was it within a sunken Russian nuclear submarine? No. Was it inside of a tipped over refrigerator? No. I was trapped inside my jacket. You see, I have a jacket. Not just a jacket, THE JACKET. I love this jacket. I've worn the same style of jacket for 7 years, with nothing but love and enjoyment. So I was quite stunned when I was betrayed by this, my dearest friend. While driving to school, I reached down to zip up my jacket, only to find that the zipper ripped off. I tried to reapply it, but it promptly snapped into 3 pieces. Thus, the struggle began. I felt like a special ed kid; all the image needed were mittons attached to my sleeves. For fuck's sake, I was trapped in a jacket. My sweat and stink were building, but tried as I might, I could not free the zipper, which also now had jagged edges which were desperately trying to cut my finger open (probably as a self-defense mechanism, since the jacket realized that once I removed it, it might never grace my person ever again). It took me three hours to finally escape my jacket, and when I finally did, I leapt up in the middle of my history class, threw the jacket across the room, and shouted "FREEDOM! FREEDOM!"
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Scott, back me up on this Dearest brother, please back me up on this. THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR STAR TREK: NEMESIS AND THUS HAS BEEN WRITTEN IN WHITE TEXT. HIGHLIGHT IT TO READ. In the film. Data exploded. I don't mean that he was near an explosion. I mean he was basically two inches from the epicenter of hiroshima. There's no Data left. GONE! KAPUT! ... so why is AintItCoolNews.com reporting that his character may not just be returning, but will actually be the center of the next Star Trek film.
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Unrelated Well, Joe Millionaire was a success, but in the end my prediction was off because I thought it would be much bigger ratings wise than it was. Daschle isn't running for president. I'd like heartily thank him for shrinking the democratic field of candidates, even if it's only by one person.
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Monday, January 06, 2003
 
Prediction I'm making a prediction. Joe Millionaire is going to be an absolutely massive success. How do I know this? Well it's all the talk of internet videogame web forums, with people there saying they love watching all the stupid women. If it's doing this well with guys who are so clearly out of the show's primary intended demographic, then I'm sure it's going to be a fucking ratings dynamo. Not to mention that its opening episode is up against rather weak competition (Everybody Loves Raymond is very highly rated, but it's watched by very different people). Will I be right? Find out tommorow when I'll post the ratings numbers and wrestle a ferret to increase my site's hits!
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Debate time I've been pleased to see increased use of my comments system, so let's try to continue the good trend with a good old-fashioned debate! In my many travels across the interweb, or "internet" as some call it, I've come across many a website. I have, however, noticed a certain trend. There are certain websites out there that make piracy of all forms dramatically easier, but at the same time, are confusing with regards to their legality. For instance, I know of one site that is literally filled with links to stolen material, but the links don't actually lead you to the material directly. They link you to a filesharing service where that material is stored amongst thousands and thousands of people. Now this site sounds pretty illegal to me because even if their links aren't really links as we understand them, they are, umm, links. The line gets blurrier with other sites. Some simply announce the release of stolen materials. Others don't just announce the release, they explain in a very general way where on the internet the stolen program/movie can be found. For instance, directing people to a particular newsgroup or chatroom where the file is known to circulate. Personally, I've always tried to abhor piracy, but then again, not paying for things has a very tasty ring to it. And there are other situations, for instance, TV shows, where I sometimes make up for my cable company's failings by downloading missed episodes, or even episodes yet to air. So my question is this: Where do you personally think the line should be set? Does helping piracy in even indirect ways make these sites all illegal? Is there a difference between sites that give out links and sites that just announce that something has been stolen? And what of sites like google and certain file-mirroring services that don't seek directly to aid piracy but can be invaluable tools for theft anyway?
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Sunday, January 05, 2003
 
It's so romantic! What is hollywood's obsession with the "Stop the wedding!" plotine? I was just watching a commercial for "A Guy Thing," which follows the same plot as untold other movies: Some person is about to get married. Their life seems to be going great ... until! They meet the girl/guy of their dreams at the last minute and spend 2 hours learning to love the new person more and more while the film carefully constructs reasons for the viewer not to care about the jilted bride or groom-to-be. And early on in these affairs (which is the proper term for these incongruous acts of sin!), the lead always asks himself or herself, "Gee, maybe this is just a passing attraction. Perhaps I'm simply nervous about getting married and am trying to sabotage things out of fear." But of course, hollywood will have none of that! Forget committment or year long relationships; you've met someone prettier and since there will never be a sequel, the consequences of your horrid betrayal are meaningless and never need to be explored!
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Unedited comedy From the DrudgeReport: Online Poll finds that Republicans are twice as likely as Democrats to participate in online surveys... This poll reveals that more republicans respond to polls. It revealed this by asking them how likely they were to respond to polls.
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If plagiarism is the greatest form of flattery, than a lot of corporations love each other Well, it appears that both CBS and ABC are preparing American Idol copycat shows. The ads for these copycats inspired me to write down some thoughts I had earlier. Perhaps the most blatant idea thief in corporate america today is McDonalds. As far as I can tell, their corproate playbook reads as follows: "McDonalds 2002-2003 Strategy Handbook Step 1: Watch Jack in the Box commercials Step 2: Take ideas from Jack in the Box commercials Step 3: Use ideas from Jack in the Box commercials (rename them if you have the time)" For instance, McDonald's new "Dollar Menu" bore a striking resemblence to Jack in the Box's "Value Menu," which promised that everything on that menu would be one dollar. Most tellingly, though was McDonalds addition of new PepperJack cheese, just a month or so after Jack in the Box announced their new pepper cheese hamburger. Now far be it for me to cast aspersions on the McDonalds corporation, but I believe, Nay! I suspect, that perhaps, these recent McDonalds innovations were not entirely of their own making. PS: The greatest source of evil in commercials and corporate america today is the completely graceless and violent struggle of every corporation in the Western United States to grab at the hispanic market. I mean, come on, you can't just add a fucking tortilla to the menu and suddenly think you've earned the love of all latinos!
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Saturday, January 04, 2003
 
A public service announcement This one is for all you goyum out there in the hizzouse. Now some of you make think that it isn't hip to like Matzah. Well I'm here to set you straight, son! You head on down to your local foodmart and buy yourself some Manischewitz Egg & Onion matzah. Though this unleavened bread may have been invented on the run, your taste buds need not flee from this flavor experience of biblical proportions!
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Friday, January 03, 2003
 
Atleast he's not Jesse Jackson Al Sharpton has decided to run for president. It's just gonna be so fucking fun watching the Democrats getting painted as crazy race-bating liberals. For god's sake, did it suddenly become the Reagan 80's and no one told me!?!? The only positive I can say for Al Sharpton is that he isn't Jesse Jackson. He's always seemed a bit more genuine to me than Jesse Jackson.
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Is it just me? Is it just me or does this Australian proposed "tallest tower in the world" look an awful lot like Saruman's fortress in Lord of the Rings: PS: I don't give a shit if I spelled Saruman wrong. HE'S NOT REAL! GO BACK TO YOUR LIFE!
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Nerd Time, with your host, Siguy I visited a Star Trek web forum the other night. What disturbed me about the mighty Star Trek fanbase is the way that none of the people seemed to agree about anything except that we all hate the direction Star Trek is currently going in. Some say the franchise needs to return to its roots from The Original Series. They don't seem to be very clear about what those roots are, but that's not really an issue. Others say the show needs to be violently taken away from its current handlers and given to someone who's willing to take risks. I'd fall in with this group. Personally, I would really like to see control of the franchise given to a Whedon-esque person. There are all these people claiming that Star Trek is used up or needs 10 years of non-active time to recoup. I personally think that's bullshit. The only reason it feels stale is because of lazy writers and producers who have been making Star Trek for 15 damn years. Sometimes, when I try to watch the newest Star Trek show, I feel like they run the damn thing through some sort of "Star Trek formula" to make sure everything comes out in the same bland, rehashed fashion.
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Thursday, January 02, 2003
 
Crowded field I'm stunned. Almost every single person who people said might run for the Democratic nomination for president is going to make a run for it. The only exceptions are McCain and Gov. Davis. I was so sure that atleast a few would decide not to run. I'm not surprised that Edwards will run, since I doubt he could get re-elected as a senator in North Carolina anyway. Daschle, however, always seemed like a longshot to me, but apparently he's tired of the senate and ready to end his career in a flash. Which reminds me, I certainly do hope that there are atleast one or two Democratic senators who aren't running for president next year. As-is, everyone seems to be fleeing the senate. So let's recap; the following people will probably be seeking the Democratic nomation: John Kerry, Howard Dean, John Edwards, Daschle, Gephardt, Lieberman, and ... wait, that's all for now. It feels like Gore deciding not to run, rather than shortening the list, has vastly expanded it. Update: Yup, Gephardt and Edwards are running. Pretty soon it's gonne be easier to list the democrats in this country who AREN'T running than it will be to list the ones who are.
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A geek's revenge takes too long My sister and I are embroiled in an extended photoshop project as vengeance against her boyfriend for beating us at a poorly designed board game. If I were a real man, my revenge would be quicker and easier. I'd just tackle him or spray things in his eyes. Instead I'm sitting here isolating pixels and deleting them at 1:30 AM.
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Wednesday, January 01, 2003
 
1:30 AM Musings Well, I just realized something. This Christmas and this New Year's Day have been the first major holidays in a long long while where we haven't been bombarded by government terror warnings. Do I think that the world's a safer place since the last warnings? Not a chance. I just think that we as Americans are finally reverting back to being slightly less afraid. Things truly are getting back to "normal." On the one hand, that's great because maybe people will be less insane if they aren't so terrified all the time. Then again, we really aren't any safer than we were before; we've just learned to stop worrying and love the bomb.
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